Billmon sets the scene for the Bush-Cheney joint appearance in front of the 9/11 commission:

Kean: Commissioner Ben-Veniste, you may begin.

Ben-Veniste: Mr. President, what did you know and when did you know it?

Bush: Say what?

Ben-Veniste: (chuckles) Sorry, Mr. President. I couldn’t resist that one. (clears throat, grows more serious) Mr. President, you were inaugurated as president on January 20th, 2001, were you not?

Bush: (evasive) You mean as president of the U.S. of A.?

Ben-Veniste: Yes sir, that’s right.

Bush: Well, I, that is, um … I think … (Cheney loudly stamps his foot under the table, twice)

Bush: (carefully pronouncing each word) Yes, Commissioner, that statement is correct.

Ben-Veniste: And as president, you bear the ultimate responsibility for your administration’s performance, do you not?

Bush: Responsibility? I’m not sure I like the sound of that … (Cheney loudly stamps his foot, once.)

Ben-Veniste: (annoyed) Is something wrong, Mr. Vice President?

Cheney: It’s just my foot, Commissioner. I’m afraid it’s gone to sleep. (stamps it again, once.)

Bush: (slowly and precisely) No Commissioner, I must disagree with you about that.

Ben-Veniste: About what?

Bush: What?

Ben-Veniste: You must disagree about what?

Bush: (flustered) Whatever you just said, that’s what.

Ben-Veniste: (sighs, consults his papers) Mr. President, we’ve heard testimony from Director Tenet, and others, that you were briefed on August 6, 2001 about the threat of terrorist hijackings — either in the United States or abroad — and that your senior counter-terrorism advisor urged you to take the federal government to “battle stations.” Do you recall these conversations?

(Cheney drums his fingers on the table, loudly.)

Bush: (grins at Cheney) Could you repeat your question, Commissioner? A little more slowly?

Ben-Veniste: (exasperated) Mr. President, on August 6, 2001, were you or where you not warned that Al Qaeda terrorists might be planning a major hijacking?

Bush: (slouches back casually in his chair) Welllll, lessee now. August 6th, you say? Hmmmm…you know Commissioner, that was a mighty long time ago. (he glances at Cheney, who nods sympathetically)

Bush: I’m going to have to think real hard about that one, Ben.

Ben-Veniste: My name’s Richard.

Bush: Whatever. August 6th … August 6th … You know, I think I was on vacation that month, back in Crawford. Ain’t that right, Dick? (Cheney nods) You ever been down to that part of Texas, Ben? Awful pretty country … (Cheney looks at his watch, smiles)

Ben-Veniste: (wearily) Let’s move on, Mr. President, maybe we can return to that question later. (Cheney makes a scoffing noise in the back of his throat.)

Ben-Veniste: Mr. President, have you ever had any business dealings with any members of the Bin Laden family?

Bush: (gives Ben-Veniste a shifty look) Have I ever had any what?

Ben-Veniste: Business dealings. Have any members of the Bin Laden family ever invested in any of the companies you’ve been associated with, or served as directors with you on any corporate boards …?

Gonzales: (interrupts) Mr. Ben-Veniste, the administration wants to cooperate with the commission’s work, but we have clearly stipulated as a condition for this session that questions about the president’s relationship with the Bin Laden family are entirely out of bounds.

Ben-Veniste: (frowns) You have? I’ve seen no record of it.

Gonzales: That’s because there isn’t any. (snorts) We just made it up. (Cheney gives Gonzales a high five)

Make sure you have your Depends on before you read the rest.