This morning, I was pondering what my New Best Friend Joe Trippi was saying last night about transactional vs. transformational politics, and I had a “Eureka!” moment.
It’s that it applies to everything, not just politics: jobs and relationships, especially. I realized the times I’ve been unhappiest is when I’ve been trapped in a transactional job or relationship. I’m practical, yes - but ultimately, I can only be happy and thrive in a transformational situation.
Some really dreadful relationships I’ve had were actually quite fulfilling - to a point. Because they required me to transform, that was the real draw.
And when the transformation was over, so was the relationship. Hmm.
Check out this book by Daphne Rose Kingma, “Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and how to Live through the Ending of Yours”.
You post is precisely the theme of this book. It was certainly a transformational read for me.
Shoot. Forgot the link:
http://susiemadrak.com/2005/10/26/10/46/new-rule-2/
Ok, I’m not transformed enough as I put the wrong link up. Let’s try again. Sorry about the waste of bandwidth:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=PQ0gel3C0z&isbn=1573241776&itm=2
So, is your New Best Friend Joe Trippi looking to work for any independent candidates for President in 2008?
I’m wishing I could make a trip to Philadelphia just to hang with the Drinking Liberally crowd.
I like that distinction (between transactional and transformational), too, and I think you’re correct in noting that it’s relevant across a number of personal dimensions. It’s also kind of Marxist, when you think about it.
There is an interesting (yet esoteric) distinction made sometimes, mostly by English Department savants.
It’s the distinction between the religious (transformational?) feudal societal dynamic (i.e. — we believe in this, trust me and I’ll protect you..but, pay me), and the contractual (transactional) dynamics that have come to rule society — ie, you give me something, I’ll give you something.
The old feudal deal was built on the concept of “honor” — lords and dukes etc protected and exploited the serfs and poor folk. (the idea of christian love was hardly a contender).
The new (transactional) deal is slightly more equitable; might not we be better off now?
Let’s deal with politics as they are and as we find them.
A transaction doesn’t have to be polite — telling the Bush Junta that there will be consequences for their mendacity is, indeed, a transaction.
I really don’t trust anyone who promises “transformation.”