The Tao of Steve
Nov 24th, 2005 at 2:11 pm by Susie
A bunch of us were talking the other day, and two of them had wonderful boyfriends/husbands named Steve.
“All Steves are great,” one of them enthused.
“Oh, come on, not all of them,” I said. But then I started to think: my oldest friend is married to a Steve, and she says the same thing. (Although she was married to another Steve before this one, and she hates him. But still.)
“Don’t write about this in your blog,” the other one said, eyeing me. “I don’t want him to get a swelled head. I liked it when he was still grateful.”
I thought some more and came up with three more Steves, all nice guys. (Not even counting my godfather, Uncle Stevie.) “Damn it, that’s it,” I said, slamming the counter. “I’ve seen the light. Get me a Steve!”
Nice guy named Steve wanted for compulsively creative and slightly wacky blonde politicial blogger. You should be geographically convenient to Philadelphia and emotionally available. No Republicans, smokers, substance abusers or Pee Wee Herman speeches,* please. You should be equally good at getting and giving. Transparency a must.
* “You don’t want to get mixed up with me, Dottie. I’m a loner, a rebel. There’s things about you wouldn’t know, couldn’t know, shouldn’t know.”
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This reminds me of Project Steve.
Creationists are fond of making lists of “scientists” who deny evolution. In response, Project Steve made a statement affirming evolution and invited people named ‘Steve’ to sign it. So far 671 Steves, Stefans and Stefanies have signed it.
I have found that there are the good “Steves” that you describe and then there are “Sah-teee-vah’s” who are fucksticks. These latter versions are uncommon, but you do find them. And their individual level of fuckstickedness can be measured by the number of “e’s” that you place in the middle syllable. If you have any breath left, your “Sah” isn’t too bad.
Cardinal Fang beat me to Project Steve. Of course, speaking as a Steve myself, I know full well that some are better than others.
Well, my parents seemed to like the name. My dad told me that he had named me after one of his best childhood friends who was one of the nicest guys he knew in the neighborhood.
Steve Hadley?
In my case it was the saint’s name (not Templar! That was Simon!).
Aw, I like it when my head swells….