I Hate Hippies
Nov 22nd, 2006 at 12:06 pm by Susie
Really. Just ask my friends. (Some of whom are, actually.) Ask them how often I roll my eyes and mutter under my breath, “Fucking hippies.”
Most of my complaints have to do with their refusal to integrate their Jungian shadow selves, the clothes and the hair. (Mostly the hair.) Plus, I find some of their ways a little, um, precious. My friend Cos (a hippie if ever there was one) will tell me about someone she knows from the Rainbow Gathering: “So Sister Floating Feather was saying…” and I interrupt. “What’s her real name?” I say rudely.
“Her Rainbow name is Sister Floating Feather,” Cos says, firmly standing her ground.
Loud theatrical sigh. “I mean, what name did her parents give her when she was born?”
“Oh. Jennifer.”
This is a running joke between us. (Her real name, by the way, is not Cos. That’s the Rainbow name I gave her, short for Cosmic Hammer of God - inspired by her deep conviction that she was placed on the planet to punish the guilty.)
But other than style issues, I do have deep affection for my counterculture friends. Their hearts are firmly in the right place, and most of them aren’t anywhere near as flighty as some people would have you believe.
Of all the things I blame on hippies (tofu, pot smoke, white people with dreadlocks, earth tones), standing in the way of victory in Iraq isn’t one of them.
I’ll bet the author of this column even gets worked up about God-hating, treacherous bumperstickers like “Visualize Whirled Peas” or “God Bless Us, Everyone - No Exceptions.” The people who hang world flags instead of the red white and Blue must make her throw a freakin’ conniption.)
I can see why those of us who don’t believe Americans have an inherent right to rape and pillage the planet would strike her as, you know, traitors.
Methinks someone doth protesteth too much. Any old pictures of you in tie die you’ve been trying to suppress?
Me? No. I was always too poor to dress like a hippie.
I’m in the Reform branch of the hippies. The hair’s short (thinning and employment, yanno) the beard’s nicely trimmed.
Never much liked the dreadlocks or tofu (or hemp clothing and whatsamatta with earth tones? As for the pot smoke, I reserve the right to utilize that anti-lung-cancer, anti-Alzheimer’s, anti-glaucoma medication on special occasions, along with a good brandy.
There’s much to thank us hippies for: environmentalism, organic foods, alternative energy, civil disobedience, limits on nuclear waste, everyone with the last name of Phoenix, reproductive rights, Greenpeace, CSN&Y, James Taylor and other musicians, and wayyyyyy more.
We didn’t invent much of that, but we certainly carried much of it mainstream.
Granted, fashion wasn’t always a strong suit, but most other groups haven’t done much better. (And I still think too much make-up looks sucky, still don’t like razors, and still think the Rainbow Family is more fringe than basic hippie).
Tie-dye? Rarely. A nice Hawaiian silk shirt is loud enough. Maybe I’m from the Parrot-head branch.
what’s wrong with tofu?
How is it possible to be “too poor” to dress like a hippie?
Tofu cheesecake. Ewww.
Most hippie clothing (for females, anyway) is sold in expensive little head shops. I mean, $35 for a cotton shirt that sells in Mexico for $5? No thanks.
Ah, but you see, the real hippie goes to Mexico in the winter and buys the shirt there.
(Mostly the hair.)
Screw that attitude!
I’m 56 and haven’t cut my hair in a decade, maybe more.
Most hippie clothing (for females, anyway) is sold in expensive little head shops. I mean, $35 for a cotton shirt that sells in Mexico for $5? No thanks.
WTF are you talking about?
Rich hippies?
You seem to be talking about people who are adopting a ‘hippie’ style.
Are there even ‘real’ hippies anymore?
Oh! and the horrid ‘Smoke”!!!!
Jeeez
Though I “trimmed” my hair when my dad died earlier this year, I have had a “haircut” since I came back from the Army in 1973. Dreads - ewww.
Legalize It!
haven’t had a haircut since … 1973.
Kevin,
I’m sorry, but you don’t get thanked for CSN&Y. “Y” is very good, but that’s only 25% of that unholy quartet, and hardly makes up for the horror of David Crosby.
And actually, tofu cheesecake is pretty awesome.
Thank you, Brendan.
Okay, who is Generation Jones? And where can I get near some of that awful pot smoke?
And, um, if you’ve given her a Rainbow name, I assume you have one too. What might it be?
Ew! No, I don’t have a Rainbow name… that I know of.
By the way, while I don’t like pot, don’t ignore my great residual affection for hallucinogenic drugs.
I don’t have a Rainbow name
So, Susie, would you like one?
The mind reels at the possibilities.
Also, your friend thinks she was placed on the planet to punish the guilty?? Check, please.
Like maybe, real mescaline?
Revealing way too much. must leave the country now.
Suzie is Suzie, Rainbow or no.
gee i always thought you were kidding when you did the eye rolling thing.
no.
Okay. First of all there’s nothing wrong with being a tofu eating, pot smoking, earth tone wearing, tree hugging hippie. Hippies are good people. What’s wrong with going to a rainbow gathering or having a nickname? People call me a hippie all the time, well pretty much cuz I am one, but so what! Dreads are fine, if you like em you like em if you don’t you don’t.
So, how long is your hair anyways Thomas?