Chatterboxes
Nov 28th, 2006 at 1:57 pm by Susie
Oh, look. Contrary to often-quoted and apparently imaginary data claiming women use more words than men, we speak about the same. (Although men usually speak 2% faster.)
I talk like a guy, which seems to bother some people. I talk quickly, vehemently, and I don’t put an imaginary question mark? at the end? of every thought?
I don’t use a lot of verbal modifiers, either: “I could be wrong, but…” or “It’s just my opinion, but…” I don’t ask waiters for a grilled cheese sandwich, I order a grilled cheese sandwich.
While these are gender distinctions, they’re class distinctions as well. Food for thought, huh? Talking like a woman usually indicates you’re from what they used to call “a lower station.”
As Erma Bombeck wrote, “I’d like to be more assertive, if that’s all right with you.”
Funny. I’m pretty good at picking up on a person’s gender from chat comments or blog posts. Then again, I am pretty good at picking up subtle patterns.
I’m learning how to do that talk like a man thing. It’s interesting.
But Susie:
Do you have that weird SE PA intonation, which is pretty close to the question mark at the end?
I only talk that way with very old friends, or family.
“Talking like a woman usually indicates you’re from what they used to call ‘a lower station.’”
I always thought the best way for anyone to honor women is to appreciate the naturally feminine characteristics. Women acting manly seems like an insult against women. It says that masculinity is the standard to be achieved, and that feminity is inferior. Personally I don’t accept this, which is why I give my wife sufficient protection so that she can look, act, and feel like a woman.
I don’t judge it, one way or another. But if you’re trying to make your way in the masculine world, it’s practical to know the rules.
Yes, living in this world is hard enough without giving each other trouble for trying.
Still, I think that as a general rule, the masculine and feminine complement each other. When it doesn’t work, it’s probably because there’s too much masculine unbalancing the equation. Such subtleties lie naturally in the feminine expertise, which is something I would say modern society needs more of, not less.
It’s obvious that in general men have not honored women sufficiently, and the women’s response shows that their self-esteem has suffered greatly on account of it. I hope I haven’t contributed to that, and that I don’t screw up in trying to tell women that good men appreciate them.
Obviously you’re no exception, Susie. I’ve been reading your blog five days a week, I think since sometime in the last century. It’s not for how you talk, but what you say. We usually agree, but it’s just as interesting when we don’t.
Isn’t the better question “who listens more?”
All my family (working class Catholic roots, but out in Bridgeport) has that funny intonation. I love to tease them for it.