For years, it was my tradition to have an open house on New Year’s Day. But for the past six years, I’ve been unemployed at the holidays and it was an expense I couldn’t manage.

This year, because I’m about to start a new job, I decided to do it. What the hell, Jupiter’s in Sagittarius and it’s a time of abbondanza! Another declaration to the universe about prosperity, right?

Well, my apartment, while more than twice the size of the last one, still isn’t exactly spacious. So I’ve been moving furniture, dusting, shopping, etc. and otherwise getting ready for visitors. Wondering where they’ll sit and where to put the coffee maker (even though I don’t drink it myself, my guests always seem to expect it). Two things have always been a matter of some anxiety to me: selecting beer and coffee. Since I don’t drink either, I’m pretty much clueless. I mean, I know everyone likes Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, and most of my beer-drinking friends drink Yards Philly Pale Ale. Other than that, I’m at a distinct loss.

So in the midst of all this madness, I’m having an early dinner with my best friend and then it’s off to two parties.

Speaking of best friends, mine was in the Bahamas this week and she didn’t call me when she got home Friday. “That’s odd,” I said to myself. “WTF is going on?” So I called her and left a message, and she called me last night. Well see, I knew something was up.

Turns out she met a guy there, a nice guy. A good-looking widower who runs a non-profit and is a liberal (unlike the usual Fox News Republicans she attracts). Being a Scorpio with all the attending eight-house issues (compulsive desire to/fear terror of merging), she’s trying desperately to come up with reasons not to take this guy seriously. (He already called her twice. From the Bahamas.)

“He lives in Pittsburgh. It would never work,” she said. “I don’t like Pittsburgh.”

“Do you mean to tell me if you fall in love - with the right guy, for a change, a man who’s your equal in every way, a man who adores and treasures you, you can’t see yourself moving in order to make it work? Because you’re crazy if you think that,” I said.

She admitted that yes, she’d have to consider it.

“You’re full of shit, anyway,” I said. “You’re in such a panic that you might have met someone you actually have to take seriously, you can’t deal with it.”

“There might be some truth to that,” she said.

Jesus. The classic Scorpio non-answer. I may need to get drunk tonight.