The Injured List
Sep 24th, 2007 at 9:57 pm by Susie
I swear to God, I’m not making this up: I sprained my hand today on a ball of wax.
The wax is from the small cheeses I bring to work as a snack. I like to fidget, and for the past few weeks, I’ve been saving the wax coating they come in and kneading it all into one big ball of wax in my left hand as I make phone calls.
Well, today I pulled something in my hand when I did it. It hurts - a lot, especially when I use my thumb. (Amazing, how much you use the thing.) I had to wrap my hand in an Ace bandage just so I could stand it.
Maybe I should just stay home in bed from now on.
Perhaps this will help your recovery:
[receptionist opens door to Wagstaff's office where he is conferring with two professors]
Wagstaff’s Receptionist: Oh, Professor, the Dean of Science wants to know how soon you can see him. He says he’s tired of cooling his heels out here.
Professor Wagstaff: Tell him I’m cooling a couple of heels in here.
[receptionist leaves and re-enters fifteen seconds later]
Wagstaff’s Receptionist: The Dean is furious! He’s waxing wroth!
Professor Wagstaff: Is Roth out there, too? Tell Roth to wax the Dean for awhile.
[nudges one professor]
Professor Wagstaff: Guess that’s bad, huh?
Horse Feathers, 1932.
Insurance?
If yes, then rheumatologist?
If no, then stay in bed.
When I went to physical therapy last night, the pt looked at my hand and said, “The doctor forgot to put your hand on the prescription!”
“That just happened today,” I said. “Long story.”
Sprained your hand on a ball of wax? That is totally excellent. Even better than the time I threw my back out reaching for the snooze button. I was incapacitated for days.
Feel better, honey.