Elevator Etiquette
Jul 18th, 2008 at 4:50 pm by Chris
This really shouldn’t be so fucking hard, but it seems to be, so here is some advice for people who need it. Please do not get onto an elevator until everybody who is going to exit, has exited. Also, when the elevator doors open and you find yourself blocking the open doorway because you’re standing right in front of it, move your stupid and lazy ass out of the way and let people get off the elevator without having to dry hump you.
You will also find these tips helpful when entering subways, trains and buses.
Carry on.
OMG, Yes. And here’s another one — wait to start pushing buttons until everyone is on board, so you don’t make the doors close on people who are still getting on the elevator. This is a daily occurrence where I work. I see the same people doing it day in, day out. Are they stupid or just rude?
did you forget:
don’t let off SBD farts on the elevator as you get off in an attempt to blame the people staying on the elevator behind you???
Are they stupid or just rude?
Yes.
This has been another episode of SATSQ.
Etiquette has been going to hell ever since Reagan was elected.
Also, if you are wearing a backpack please remember that a large hump on your back takes up space too. I don’t know how many times I ‘ve been crowded out by the backpack brigade.
Even we out here in the wild-ner-ess know these things.
Are they stupid or just rude?
Yes.
This has been another episode of SATSQ.
To be fair, I’d throw oblivious, ignorant and arrogant into that mix. The answer is still yes.
Here’s a slightly different thing, caused by an excess of etiquette:
If you’re a man, and you’re standing in front of a woman who is getting off on the same floor you are (as in, she can’t get off until you move), JUST GET OFF THE ELEVATOR rather than try to let her off first.
Really. It’s okay.
Nice work, Chris. I’ve been meaning to do an “elevator etiquette” post for quite some time. I’d add one more. Finish your fucking cell phone conversation before you get on the fucking elevator. If you can’t, have the fucking decency to wait for the next fucking car.
I was exiting a rail car in Boston and an obviously pregnant woman was also attempting to emerge. Apparently it was more important for the crowd ready to embark to want to be the first to get on than to make way. So I screamed above the din: “Get out of the way, there’s a pregnant lady here for Godsakes!” And yes, the crowd parted and we all emerged without incident.
So, folks, when something like this happens and people don’t follow etiquette, please have the decency to not ENABLE their behavior, but rather call them out on it. If enough of us throw their inappropriate behavior back in their face instead of simply shaking our heads and telling our friends about later, perhaps the world will become a better place and those of us that are conscious won’t get an ulcer.
If you’re going to use elevators, use deodorant too.
One more–days too late, of course. Virgin Airways has some cutesy little instructional videos (how to hold your ears to block out elevator music, how long this trip will take if some clown doesn’t push the buttons for each floor) shown by a woman in a flight attendant’s outfit, much like the pantomimes that flight attendants do when demonstrating safety procedures. One of them demonstrates how to close the door on other passengers while shrugging in phony helplessness. That got my goat enough to make we want to send off a letter of protest to the Times–which I didn’t do, of course. I’m sure Chris would have been mad enough to do so.
And the additional detail that requires comment? Ads in elevators. Part of the unavoidable clutter as we cover every surface in the Western world with ads.