‘Shut your dumb, stupid mouth’

About the Beatles being overrated. This made me laugh out loud:

It’s hard to tell through that stupid, shit-eating grin, but are you trying to be funny or do you genuinely not like The Beatles? Because I’ll bet if we sat you down in a room and started playing “All You Need Is Love” or “When I’m Sixty-Four,” you’d probably start crying and piss your stupid pants from pretending not to have all the emotions in the world. If we played “Here Comes the Sun” when you’re having a bad day, chances are 10,000% that you’d outright shit yourself as a result of the overwhelming melange of joyful optimism and unbridled awe, you pants-pissing pants-pisser.

If you need other ways to torment people that make you come off as less of a pretentious asshole than shitting on The Beatles, here are some activities to keep you busy…

Inform small children there’s no Santa Claus.

Go to the Holocaust Museum and tell patrons that Hitler had some pretty good ideas.

Stand outside the window at Curves eating a McRib.

Guys: Tell a woman that childbirth isn’t really a big deal.

Ladies: Tell a guy that getting kicked in the junk isn’t all that painful.

Go to the Million Man March and say Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech ran a little long.

For Christ’s sake, the band has sold more albums and has had more number one hits than any band ever. They are the bestselling band in the history of fucking music. This is the one band we as a society should all be able to unanimously agree on as a model for… Wait, no. NO. This is exactly what you want. This is the game you want me to play. You want me to get all riled up and start defending The Beatles. Well I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction.

Instead, I’m gonna go the higher route and take a page from Mr. Lennon when I say: Love is all you need. And go fuck yourself, idiot.