Being from the South, we have a big tradition of having barbeque parties in the hot sweltering weather. Here are some wonderful tips to hosting a barbeque party including….
One safety tip to keep in mind while barbecuing is that you should never, ever light your house on fire.
The endangered Cebu cinnamon tree of the Philippines is the best firewood for grilling. Use anything less, and you might as well be cooking your food on top of smoldering raccoon shit.
When barbecuing veggie burgers, be sure to tie your long hair back. That will keep it away from the flames, you stupid hippie.
According to lots of surveys over a long period of time the people in the South also like to blow shit up on the 4th of July. The facts indicate that more fireworks are exploded in the South on the 4th than in any other region in the country. So if you’re living in the South here are a few safety tips on how. 1) Have a long fuse attached to your explosive device. 2) Never hold an explosive device in your hands when the fuse is lit. This is especially true if you are drunk. (Drinking heavily is also a Southern tradition on the 4th.) 3) When setting off a bottle rocket don’t aim it at trees or your neighbors roof. 4) Should you blow your hand off seek immediate medical care. 5) If you should start a forest fire or set your neighbors house ablaze simply claim that you were just standing your ground. Most Southern cops will accept this logic. Have a great 4th.
Well, the last words of many Southerners is, “Hey, man, watch this!” or “Hold my beer, I have an idea.”