Suburban Guerrilla

Bend me, shape me, anyway you want me.

Mittens can barely keep up with that sly dog, Chief Justice John Roberts. From The Raw Story:

Presumptive Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney on Wednesday reversed his campaign’s position that mandates to buy health care are a “penalty” and not a “tax,” telling CBS News that “the majority of the [Supreme Court] has said it is a tax, and therefore it is a tax.”

“They have spoken,” he said. “There’s no way around that.”

Romney’s new position is the exact opposite of what the campaign was saying on Monday. Appearing on MSNBC, senior Romney adviser Eric Fehrnstrom revealed that Romney sold his health mandate to Massachusetts residents as a “penalty” and not a tax, just like President Barack Obama did…

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A 5-year-old gives her little sister a haircut, and her father interviews them after:

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J.C. Duffy makes me laugh out loud.

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This is really funny.

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A few years ago, a team of researchers attempted to build an android replica of the late, great science fiction writer Philip K. Dick. They did a good job but somehow lost the android’s head — the most important part, of course — at an airport. The story is told in a nonfiction book called How To Build An Android, reviewed this week in the NYT. The review makes the Dick android sound amazingly like the first android to run for president, Mitt Romney:

The [android] was a dazzling blend of technology and art. He was also erratic, as you might expect any first-generation android to be. Unexpected questions and loud noises threw him off. Androids have a hard time responding to human speech cues, knowing when to answer and when to stop. Sometimes Phil would get into a self-­perpetuating conversational loop. His handlers — who monitored his responses on a computer screen — had to keep a close eye.

Let’s hope Romney’s handlers are more careful in transporting their android than handlers of the Dick android were.

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Never underestimate the apathy, ignorance or sheer stupidity of young American consumers, especially the “hip” ones:

…There are a few reasonable explanations for why the Urban Outfitters Romney tees exist, actually. For one thing, Urban Outfitters (which also owns Anthropologie and Free People) is owned by a far-right conservative, Richard Hayne. All that youthful, vaguely hippie-feeling merchandise in his stores? That’s just a way to make some dough – dough that Hayne, in turn, gives to right-wing politicians like Rick Santorum. For Hayne, the young people and lefties who shop in his stores are just chumps to whom he can sell $69 peace-sign tank tops while supporting conservative politics.

Now the company is selling shirts that represent Hayne’s political perspective while appealing to hipsters’ penchant for irony, with slogans like “Mitt Is the Shit” and “2 Legit 2 Mitt.” Ironic conservatism: hilarious(ly stupid)! As Salon’s Mary Elizabeth Williams put it:

What’s revolting about the latest Urban Outfitters gambit is its sneaky ploy of making conservatism seem so uncool it’s cool, all funny and retro and Kelly Kapowski. Which, in turn, is how some doofus winds up using his chest as free advertising for a candidate he’d otherwise never in a million years vote for…

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In keeping with his previous decision to release his shows online to keep them affordable, he is now selling tickets himself for his upcoming tour. Every ticket is the same price ($45) in every city.

I love to see this kind of innovation. Take that, Ticketmaster!

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Louis C.K.:

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Help with saying the word and praise for the word….. va-jay-jay…….

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