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Category Archive for 'Sports'

We’re No. 1!

U.S. Women’s soccer team wins the World Cup: VANCOUVER, British Columbia — The United States defeated Japan, 5-2, in the Women’s World Cup final on Sunday, winning in stunningly dominant fashion for its first Cup title since 1999 and denying Japan a second straight championship. The Americans relied on stalwart defense throughout their run to […]

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This year there were many victories. The Patriots captured the big town beyond the frozen lakes where the Vikings sail and there was a victory over the Chiefs on a great plain and the Pats went back East and crossed the bay to a fort with a field of false grass near a large building […]

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I was on the porch at the shack with Swamp Rabbit, critiquing Barack Obama’s sixth State of the Union address. Obama turned out to be the embodiment of magical thinking on the part of American liberals, I told the rabbit. It long ago became clear he is the consummate insider, good buddies with Jamie Dimon […]

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Swamp Rabbit and I were hungry, so we took a two-day job — strictly commission, unfortunately — peddling magical electricity in a suburban mall. There were flat-screen TVs and football fans all over the place. We caught some of the New England Patriots-Baltimore Ravens playoff game as we worked. The rabbit had bet on the […]

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Most years, I persuade a famous novelist to write a 500-word recap of the Super Bowl — Dostoyevski and Faulkner, among others, have donned their sportswriters’ caps to appear in this space — but this year Virginia Woolf phoned at halftime to say she was backing out, the Seahawks were up 22-zip. “Stick a fork […]

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Iggles

As you may know, they beat the Cowboys last night to win the NFC East title. While I may hate football, I hate the Cowboys, too. Everyone around here hates the Cowboys (and the Mets, and the Rangers). Bookmark It

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Outta here!

Charlie Manuel, general manager of the Phillies. Bookmark It

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Allen Iverson

Rock bottom. Poster boy for how poorly prepared professional athletes are for real life. Bookmark It

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My gift to you

Crunches are bad for you! Bookmark It

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How Lance doped his fans

Evidence? OK, here you are: Lance Armstrong said he wanted to see the names of his accusers. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency gave him 26, including 11 former teammates. The world’s most famous cyclist said he wanted to see the hard evidence that he was a doper. The agency gave him that, too: About 200 pages […]

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