‘Townhouse with sexual kharma’

My friend Cos just sent me this real estate listing. Best Craigslist ad ever!!

townhouse with sexual kharma in west chester brandywine at thornbury

Look I know times are difficult and that people need to be creative with their advertising for real estate. So I thought I would try this.

Buy my townhouse it exudes sexual kharma. I bought the house after I divorced my husband and it has been the setting for more sex than a casting directors couch. Let me point out some highlights. First off, as a townhouse there is very little if any maintenance, therefore you have more time for sex. The house has hardwood floors on the first and second floor. I admit that that might be little tough on the knees but then again you don’t get rug burn, besides lamb skin rugs are soft and very warm. Yes, there is a fireplace for romantic encounters. (That’s right guys, just flip a switch and you have instant ambiance.) Second floor has a large master bedroom big enough for a California king size bed and 4-5 of your closest friends. The master bathroom has a two vanities, a shower and a large soaking tub, big enough for two ( I’ll even through in the bath tub mirror). The house has finished walk out basement. The basement faces a large wooded area, which provides significant privacy when you have the urge for a little outdoor activity on the wood pile. The house is very well insulated ie “sound proof”, my neighbors have never once complained about my moaning or the sounds of my boyfriend slapping my ass.

The house is great. The schools are great. The neighborhood is great. Blah blah blah. Really, there are over $70000 worth of upgrades. If you need to get lucky, this is your house. There are so many hormones flying around inside this house you will be irresistible. Who needs viagra when you can live here.

The house is painted in soothing colors, think pottery barn type of house. If you like country ducks then you’ll have to decorate it yourself after I leave. However, I will consider selling some furniture pieces, including the gently used pool table.

Now that I got your attention, you really should take a look at the pics and write to schedule an appointment (an appointment to see the house, not me)

The house works! I am getting married and will give you a good deal so I can move.