Incubating at Christmas

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

I’ve had a lot of things percolating inside me this year: Cancer, covid, despair. Doubt in fellow humans. And most of it is still incubating — it needs more time in the cooker before I can find the right words.

But we did make it through this year. God, it was a shitty one, wasn’t it? If Biden didn’t win this election, I would probably have made my way to some other English-speaking land and taken up drinking. (I really hate drinking, so I’m glad that worked out.)

Presently, I have a dead microwave sitting in my living room instead of a Christmas tree. It’s one of those involved stories; when I ordered its replacement, it wasn’t supposed to be delivered until Saturday. Which was fine, I had nothing else planned for the weekend.

Instead, they dropped it off Tuesday, in a giant box. On my front steps, and it was starting to rain. So I wrestled it up the steps and into the foyer, and from there, up the steps to my apartment.

As you can imagine, it sort of destroyed my back. This being Christmas, I had all kinds of last minute projects to complete. My neck, my knees, and my hip are still sore, despite massage and copious amounts of arnica gel. Hopefully, I will figure out some way to get the old nuke out onto the sidewalk for trash day.

You might have noticed that some days, I simply forget to post. (Sorry.) Most of my energy right now goes toward a project I started, and it’s beginning to take off, but comes with a lot of other challenges, like dealing with taxes I had no idea even existed.

So I’m tired. It feels like I never stop working.

And that’s life these days: One little problem after another, punctuated by the occasional big one. The current Jupiter-Saturn conjunction is supposed to be a time for changes:

At the conjunction a new commitment is formed. We start putting energy into a project. We develop certitude that this is what we are going to do with our lives, and that this is what we hope to achieve. At the opening Jupiter-Saturn square we are asked to take some decisive step toward actualizing the purpose and commitment formed at the conjunction.

Christ, I hope so. Merry Christmas! God bless us, every one.