Incubating at Christmas

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I’ve had a lot of things percolating inside me this year: Cancer, covid, despair. Doubt in fellow humans. And most of it is still incubating — it needs more time in the cooker before I can find the right words.

But we did make it through this year. God, it was a shitty one, wasn’t it? If Biden didn’t win this election, I would probably have made my way to some other English-speaking land and taken up drinking. (I really hate drinking, so I’m glad that worked out.)

Presently, I have a dead microwave sitting in my living room instead of a Christmas tree. It’s one of those involved stories; when I ordered its replacement, it wasn’t supposed to be delivered until Saturday. Which was fine, I had nothing else planned for the weekend.

Instead, they dropped it off Tuesday, in a giant box. On my front steps, and it was starting to rain. So I wrestled it up the steps and into the foyer, and from there, up the steps to my apartment.

As you can imagine, it sort of destroyed my back. This being Christmas, I had all kinds of last minute projects to complete. My neck, my knees, and my hip are still sore, despite massage and copious amounts of arnica gel. Hopefully, I will figure out some way to get the old nuke out onto the sidewalk for trash day.

You might have noticed that some days, I simply forget to post. (Sorry.) Most of my energy right now goes toward a project I started, and it’s beginning to take off, but comes with a lot of other challenges, like dealing with taxes I had no idea even existed.

So I’m tired. It feels like I never stop working.

And that’s life these days: One little problem after another, punctuated by the occasional big one. The current Jupiter-Saturn conjunction is supposed to be a time for changes:

At the conjunction a new commitment is formed. We start putting energy into a project. We develop certitude that this is what we are going to do with our lives, and that this is what we hope to achieve. At the opening Jupiter-Saturn square we are asked to take some decisive step toward actualizing the purpose and commitment formed at the conjunction.

Christ, I hope so. Merry Christmas! God bless us, every one.

Down time

As you know, I’ve been having some problems with my vision. So I could put more distance between my eyes and the monitor, I made some changes here at Guerrilla Central. I ordered a stand for my desk and it came yesterday, so I started organizing and moving everything around while watching yesterday’s election coverage. Looks pretty good, but only because you can’t see all the stuff that fell off the desk when I moved the printer!

And the stands started to slide around on the desk, so I ordered some Velcro to keep them in place. Hopefully I can avoid at least some migraines!

Doctor my eyes

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I’m cutting back this week because all of a sudden, sitting before any kind of screen brings on a migraine aura (which, as you can imagine, is pretty unpleasant). I knew something was off the other day when I experienced the migraine prodrome for a couple of hours, took a nap, and it was still there when I woke up.

I’ve already done all the screen adjustments, so at this point, I probably need to see an opthamologist, maybe a neurologist — I don’t know. (Good luck getting an appointment, right?)

So I’ll do what I can, but I won’t be doing as much.

Happy birthday to me!

A Birthday Cake for Susie!::From MyNamePix on Pinterest and at  www.mynamepix.com | Cake, Birthday cake, Happy b day

I lost a lot of money lately — some overtime I hoped would go on forever. (It didn’t.) I had a freelance thing lined up that cancelled at the last minute. Oh, and lately a lot of longtime donors stopped their monthly donations. (I’m not mad, most of them donated for a really long time, and I’m grateful to have had their support.)

The business I told you about is growing slowly, but I’m just barely covering expenses. No actual profit yet.

It’s kind of a perfect storm, and just to top it all off, I have to get my car inspected soon. So if any of you want to chip in for my birthday, boy, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!

To donate, click here.

Dr. heart man

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I went to see my cardiologist yesterday, because my blood pressure was ungodly high –in stroke territory, even — a couple of weeks ago. He wondered if it was some kind of fluke, because I don’t actually have high blood pressure. (He also wanted to check that my home BP cuff was giving accurate readings. It was.)

“And you weren’t stressed out when it happened? Nothing unusual going on?” he said.

“Nope,” I said. I told him I didn’t even know you could get numbers that high. I’m typically a 110/71 kind of gal.

We discussed whether the covid could be responsible, but of course no one knows. He’s sending me for a stress test next week, just in case.

Ah, covid. The gift that keeps on giving…

Thanks to all of you

Photo by Jeremy Zero on Unsplash

We’re now on week 5 of our hellish heat wave, and you’ll never guess: My bedroom air conditioner has bit the dirt! It is, as they say, a former parrot.

I’m very grateful, because this is the month I also have to pay my tax person and my electric bill is going to be scary high from the heat wave. Your donations make it possible to deal with the AC that without crippling anxiety.

WEATHER UPDATE: We’ve started getting the bad weather from Isaias, and even though it’s not even 9 a.m. yet, we already had a tornado warning. We’re under a tornado watch until tonight. Ugh. Stay safe if you’re in the path.

Trying to cool off

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My A/C is now struggling to cool the car in this never-ending heat wave. I went to an auto parts store, and the only kit they had WAS $50!!!! (However, there’s a $20 rebate. God knows how long it’ll take to get processed.)

So tomorrow, I’m going to take a shot at doing it myself. Anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

The Great American tragedy

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What could be worse in this time of pandemic than to have your TV go? More specifically, the speakers. They now rattle and crackle, even at low volumes. It drives me crazy.

Well, I’m nothing if not inventive. I figured if there was a way to add Bluetooth to my TV, I could use a Bluetooth speaker as a substitute. Easy!

Not so much. The USB lead that was supposed to power the damn thing doesn’t fit any of the slots, and the cheap ($13) soundbar I found on Amazon doesn’t come with a power supply. (Since this was during a Mercury retrograde, I wasn’t surprised.)

Last night, I talked to my son, who knows all the things. “Just send me the model number of the TV, and I’ll figure it out,” he said.

So I’m hopeful that at some point, I will get the proper sound back. Because this is America, damn it, and if I have to stay home and binge Hulu, I’m going to need the correct tools.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

So I signed this letter

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

And all hell broke loose. Apparently I am a wealthy, privileged, and powerful public intellectual (hah!) who is plotting against BLM and trans people — pretty much proving the point of the letter. (Guilt by association!)

In case you’re interested, the specific reason I signed is a clause that’s included in most book contracts now that allows a publisher to cancel a book contract in cases of public condemnation — i.e. Twitter mobs. Not actual crimes, but social media. Sigh: