Category: My So-Called Life

Why do I torture myself?

~ susie

I’ve been binging “The West Wing” this week, trying to remind myself of a time when people ran the White House with some sense of honor. Was it really only two years ago?

Unlike some of my friends, I was never a devotee. I mean, I watched it, but I didn’t get upset if I missed a couple of weeks. Now, it’s hard to watch without getting weepy. I just watched the episode where the president rips into a right wing talk radio host by asking if it’s okay if he sells his daughter into slavery, as suggested in Leviticus, or if his mother should be burned alive for wearing mixed fabrics.

And so on.

One of the things I’ve been asking friends is, is there a constitutional way to prosecute Christian nationalists who demand the death of anyone who doesn’t follow their interpretation of biblical law? (You know, like much of the Trump administration.)

So far, no one has come up with anything. But we’re still talking about it.

And now I’m waiting to see if Trump is actually going to surge ICE here in my city, the city where American independence was first codified. I am frightened of what will happen to our citizens, but I’m also curious to see what our citizens do to ICE. Stay tuned.

Recovery or something like it

~ susie

Today is the one-month anniversary of falling down the steps and spraining my back. A week ago, I was feeling so much better –90%, even. The next day, my foot got caught in the hem of some too-long pants and I started falling. Fortunately, I was using a cane so I managed to stay upright — but wrenched my back again. Not as bad as the first time, but not that much better.

And today, after three days of symptoms, I finally put some obvious pieces together and realized I either have a cold, or covid again. A red, weepy eye. A runny nose. A deep chill to my bones. I’ll have to look and see if I have any more tests lying around.

Fun!

I can’t wait

~ susie

Until my back feels better. I mean, obviously it feels better than it did when I first fell down the steps, but there’s still a lot of things I just can’t do. I can’t lift anything, things that would surprise you (like a gallon of milk) with my right hand, that entire side is still a mess.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

Taking it easy

~ susie

Went to family Turkey Day yesterday, my first day out of the house since my fall. Somehow, I accidentally set off my car alarm and couldn’t figure out how to get it to stop, One of my neighbors helped, and I was finally on my way. Even though I didn’t drive the entire way, just bouncing around in the car was uncomfortable. But I had a great time once we were there.

This incident reminded me of last Thanksgiving, when I locked myself and my keys out of the house while I was leaving and had to pay $250 to a locksmith for 3 minutes work.

youtu.be/JKJExBXRorA?…

— Susie Madrak Ω (@susiemadrak.bsky.social) 2025-11-28T17:56:44.430Z

Speaking of All Saints Day

~ susie

My now-deceased aunt told me when my grandmother had a stillbirth, she wrapped up the baby and late at night, dug up part of a freshly-dug grave and laid him to rest — because she didn’t have money for an undertaker. She said the baby was buried in the cemetery next to my house. I mean, who know? You know how these family stories go. But I know about poverty.

Catholics honor All Saints’ Day with family gatherings and cemetery visits across Polandapnews.com/article/all-…

— Donald Pedersen (@watchingevil.bsky.social) 2025-11-02T14:19:31.640Z

Fall fundraiser

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

I get as tired of writing these posts as you get of reading them.

I waited two years to finally get an insurance settlement from that time my car was totaled in 2023. The claims adjuster finally settled, but my lawyer did not do himself proud and went into the settlement conference having seemingly forgotten the facts of the case. First he said I couldn’t have gotten hurt that badly “because your airbags went off” (Fun fact: I was hit from the side, my car didn’t have side airbags), he said there was no egregious negligence on the part of the guy who hit me (“His kid was yelling at him over the phone for being late picking him up from soccer practice when he ran the light,” I said, frustrated. The lawyer said he couldn’t prove it, the cop didn’t put it in the report. “He TOLD ME,” I said. Plus, he could subpoena his phone records. ) And so on. I give up. These PI lawyers work on an assembly line and don’t seem very motivated.

So not an impressive amount of money, but I was counting on some anyway because groceries are so high, electricity is going way up and I want to pay off my credit cards. The interest is killing me! Plus, I really, really want to move out of this tiny place and away from these rodents that are still everywhere. While I was living here, rents more than doubled elsewhere.

But guess what? The lawyer is not allowed to release the money until Medicare sends a letter verifying that none of the medical expenses related to the accident were paid by them. From what I understand, it can take months, and with a shutdown, who knows?

In the meantime, a bunch of weird and scary diseases and medical conditions are popping up. (I won’t bore you with the details just yet.) You might say I’m pretty fucking stressed.

On top of all this, I’m looking for a part-time job I can handle despite chronic fatigue in hopes of keeping my head above water.

Anything you give is appreciated.

Venmo: @Susan-Madrak-1

Or you can donate to Paypal here.

It’s a hedge fund world, we just pay rent

~ susie

Things I’ve learned while trying to rent an apartment:

If the rent at first seems reasonable, get ready. They going to pile parking fees, water and sewer fees on top of that, and instead of giving you a storage bin in the basement, they will rent you a storage unit with metal doors. Only $59.95!

And if your income is even $10 short of their standard, they want a co-signer — or two years’ rent locked into a dedicated account. They also require renters’ insurance — which, as I learned earlier this year, only covers your possessions, not damage to the apartment. That is only covered by the owner’s insurance.

Which tells me they’re forcing you to buy insurance so they can collect a commission.

If you have money to burn, you may shrug at these things. I don’t.

Officially cancer free

~ susie ~ 4 Comments

Five years! Moving means I will really miss Allison, my breast cancer surgeon. As you might guess, I was not the easiest patient. I argued about things most patients probably don’t argue about (like whether a treatment could actually effective when so many patients admit to secretly dropping it because the side effects were so bad). They recommended chemo and radiation, and after digging deep, I said, “Nah, don’t think so.” Allison never batted an eye.