Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. “Aw Shucks” Huckabee, Lady Ann Coulter-Crazy, Van Jones and Ed Rendell were on This Week with George Stephanopoulos yesterday.
Poor Ann. She starts blathering inanity, Van Jones and Ed Rendell jump on her statement and she clutches her pearls. “All you mean boys are interrupting me! Please, someone help poor little me!”
But I also love when she says that Bill Clinton is very frustrated with the “far left” President Obama. Host George Stephanopoulos, of course, remains silent when the proper response would be hearty laughter. But he adheres to the Very Serious Journalist Code of The View From Nowhere.
And she also asks where are the Democrats upset about drone attacks when we were all howling about everything George Bush did! (You’ll have to excuse Lady Ann, she doesn’t get out much. Her servants bring her booze now.)
I also love the part where she waxes rhapsodic about Mitt Romney and his magical touch (I get an icky feeling just thinking about it):
COULTER: Then, at Bain — I mean, about, what 75 percent, 80 percent of the businesses that were going to bankrupt, he does turn around. He’s a green eyeshade kind of guy. He will do what no president, not even Ronald Reagan, has ever done, and that is go through the budget and cut the spending. And there’s a lot to be cut.
And the Olympics, which was also going bankrupt and is an enormous business. And the Midas touch man comes in and turns around this nearly bankrupt institution. It is not just Bain. It is everything he touches.
And then she wriggled erotically in her chair. Okay, maybe not, but it felt like it.
Yes, the Olympics were going bankrupt until Mitt glommed onto $1.5 billion in FEDERAL MONEY to cover himself in glory. And a lot of that money went to pay off corrupt organizers who were caught taking bribes – just to make them go away. (Several of them have since resurfaced as Romney campaign donors).
Hounddog Huckabee also says this, with a completely straight face!
HUCKABEE: You know, I like — anybody he picks I believe is going to be the result of a very thoughtful and methodical choice. The one thing I admire most about Mitt Romney is that he is not a guy that just acts out of some impetuous visceral reaction. He’s very thoughtful, methodical.
He will make what would really be a very careful business decision. And whoever he selects, I believe, will be the result of a very thoughtful process. And we’ll all get behind him as a Republican.
Yes, Mitt Romney is a robot, and the Republicans just don’t care!
The entire episode was so bizarre, I think you’d be best served by the Bobblespeak Translations:
Stephanopoulos: please bash Obama for me
Huckabee: the private sector is not fine!
Jones: losing in Wisconsin is good because it gave Obama a wake-up call
Coulter: the entire country is enraged against public school teachers! [ psychotic laugh ]
Rendell: bashing firefighters? really?
Huckabee: I love firemen but first we must fire teachers who make $100,000 if you include
all benefits which is outrageous
Jones: Republicans won’t pass their own bills so they can blame Obama for failing
Stephanopoulos: are you saying they are rooting for failure?
Jones: no I’m not – I’m saying they are creating failure!
Coulter: firefighters have huge pensions!
Rendell: would you fire firefighters?
Coulter: [ lunatic chortle ]
Stephanopoulos: Should Obama attack Bain Capital?
Rendell: first Mitt says he created 10,000 jobs and then it was 100,000 – which is it?
Huckabee: Romney was not supposed to create any jobs at all and he wassuccessful at that
Coulter: Mitt Romney has the Midas touch!
Jones: didn’t Midas destroy everything eventually
Coulter: [ sociopathic chuckle ]
Stephanopoulos: let’s use Bill Clinton to bash Obama!
Huckabee: Bill Clinton was a great President!
Stephanopoulos: you tried to impeach Clinton and called him a murderer
Huckabee: I miss Bill !!
Rendell: the GOP only wants to destroy Obama
Jones: Republicans lawmakers – are so insane they are almost as crazy Ann Coulter
Coulter: Bill Clinton was wonderful! [ demented giggle ]
Huckabee: Clinton is right – Mitt Romney should be President!
Stephanopoulos: who should be Vice President?
Huckabee: Romney will choose carefully unlike John McCain who picked a unqualified ditz
Coulter: I have not been asked to be Vice President
Stephanopoulos: what a surprise
Coulter: he should choose Chris Christie because has ethnic appeal and hates public unions
Stephanopoulos: Marco Rubio could help the GOP win Hispanics in Florida
Jones: Obama wants to help homeowners in Florida and of course the GOP won’t do it
Stephanopoulos: OMG the guy Obama defeated in 2008 attacked him!
Huckabee: Obama is killing terrorists and it is terrible that we know that!
Jones: He’s killing people! That’s also bad!
Rendell: to leak information about our deadly viruses against al qaeda or Iran or whatever is terrible
Coulter: leaks show Obama is being tough on terrorism which means Barack Obama hates America [ hysterical laughter ]
Jones: I don’t have to support everything Obama does
Coulter: Conservative don’t blindly support Republicans – also Mitt Romney is the greatest thing ever!
Stephanopoulos: people think the Supreme Court has become entirely political
Huckabee: therefore the Supreme Court should look at the polls and overturn Obamacare
Stephanopoulos: they should ignore the law and only apply politics?
Huckabee: yes – following popular opinion is required by the Constitution!
Jones: like they did in Bush v Gore
Coulter: Bush v Gore was a great decision!
Huckabee: the mandate is evil and unconstitutional
Jones: holy f**k the individual mandate was an idea from the Heritage Foundation
Stephanopoulos: and yet polls say it is wildly unpopular
Jones: what a f***ing coincidence
Coulter: [ disturbing howl ]
Stephanopoulos: and that’s another episode of This Week with George Stephanopoulos