The 2nd Amendment right to shoot some shit up

Hey, let’s get high, go out back and shoot some shit!

Two men were arrested in Ohio on Wednesday after their target practice with an AK-47 assault rifle accidentally shot up a woman’s home and nearly hit a officer who was responding to reports of gunfire.


Mary Kuruc told WEWS that her daughter discovered a bullet hole in the siding of their Montville Township home and other holes inside the house. After calling 911, Montville Police Sgt. Matt Neil began investigating and the home was hit again.


“We noticed a second bullet hole, followed the trajectory of it and noticed the bullet landed in the microwave,” Kuruc recalled.


Neil found himself in the line of fire as he tried to track down where the bullets were coming from.


“When I get about a half mile back in the field up on a hill, gunfire started again, and started hearing rounds go over my head,” the officer explained.


Neil called for backup and police discovered two men who thought they were safely shooting at paper targets, but the bullets were skipping off the ground and riddling the suburban neighborhood.


“They were drinking alcohol, they had some drugs on them and they were just outside, in their backyard shooting paper targets,” Neil said. “They felt because they were shooting at a downward angle, that it would have been OK.”


Police suspect that “dozens” of shots were fired and have asked other residents to come forward if their homes were hit.


Two men, 53-year-old Mark Bornino and 45-year-old R. Daniel Volpone, were arrested and are facing felony charges. Police seized an AK-47 with two high-capacity magazines, three handguns, over 700 rounds of ammunition and some marijuana.

My day so far

It’s the kind of day where you’re making oatmeal, you notice that the bag of brown sugar has hardened, you whack the bag on the counter to loosen it up, and the bag explodes, sending brown sugar all over your kitchen. Yeah, that kind of day.

PA GOP

Their plan to rig the 2016 election. If you live in Pennsylvania, this would be a good time to start making calls and writing letters. It’s a transparent attempt to make sure that a few thousand votes in Bumfuck are equal to the city of Philadelphia. Fair? Of course not. That’s not how Republicans roll.

Giant sinkhole

Don’t be silly! Mining never affects anything, everyone knows that:

Last spring, residents in Louisiana’s Assumption Parish noticed peculiar bubbles rising to the surface in some bayous. Soon after, small earthquakes shook the towns and raised some eyebrows. In August, i09 writes, the earth suddenly yawned open, swallowing several acres of swampy forest and forming a massive sinkhole full of water, brines, oil and natural gas. Geologists say nature did not cause the hole. Rather, mining activities conducted by the oil and gas service company Texas Brine opened up this apparent pit to hell.


The company, however, denies responsibility. The United States Geological Survey is investigating the incident and has determined that a salt cavern deep below the surface collapsed and caused the earthquake-like tremors, not the other way around. The collapse, they say, was likely brought about by extensive mining.


Since it first appeared, the sinkhole has reached 8 acres in size. Now known as the Bayou Corne Sinkhole, it’s caused the forced evacuation of 300 residents in the nearby town of Assumption, TreeHugger writes. Officials do not know when the evacuees might be allowed to return to their homes.


Despite efforts to contain the muck, nearby waterways already shows signs of contamination, including toxic hydrogen sulfide. Louisiana Commissioner of Conservation James Welsh fined Texas Brine $100,000 for failing to meet several deadlines for the cleanup effort, i09 writes.


At this point, officials are beginning to fear that the sinkhoke may have to become a “sacrifice zone,” joining the ranks of such uninhabitable, manmade disaster zones as the giant wormhole in Guatemala City and the spewing mudlake of Java.

The executive orders translated

I wish I didn’t know so many people who thought like this. Charlie Pierce:

Slate‘s Dave Weigel helpfully has listed the 23 Executive Orders issued by the president today in connection with his initiative on gun violence. Let us put them all through the helpful NRA Tyranny Translator and see what we get, OK?

1. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system.

(The singular of “data” is “tyrant.” Look it up.)

2. Address unnecessary legal barriers, particularly relating to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that may prevent states from making information available to the background check system.

(You’ll get our schizophrenia when you pry it from our cold dead hands.)

3. Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system.

(Someone in Vermont will know what I’m doing. The jackboot of Ben And Jerry’s is on my neck.)

4. Direct the Attorney General to review categories of individuals prohibited from having a gun to make sure dangerous people are not slipping through the cracks.

(First they came for the insane, and I said nothing, because I was not insane. Then, they came for the felons, and I said nothing, because I was not a felon. Then they came for the Christians in my town…wait, maybe I am insane.)

5. Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun.

(See? SEE? The gun is already seized. They’re putting together “new” regulations but they’re already talking about “seized” guns. False flag! False flag!)

6. Publish a letter from ATF to federally licensed gun dealers providing guidance on how to run background checks for private sellers.

(I am bunkered down outside, near the curb, in case the ATF invades my property by mail.)

7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign.

(We have that now. It’s called Everybody Gets A Gun. We already are working on the updated version; Everybody Gets More Guns.)

8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission).

(First, the CPSC came for the toys….slippery slope! Slippery slope!)

9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations.

(If criminals are outlawed, only outlaws will be criminals.)

10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement.

(My right to lose my gun and have a cannibal murderer find it cannot be abridged.)

11. Nominate an ATF director.

(If the jackboot fits…)

12. Provide law enforcement, first responders, and school officials with proper training for active shooter situations.

(Wait, I like this.)
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