So I’m in bed, reading a book, when I notice that this one fly that’s been hanging around for a few days is in my bedroom. But I can’t find my flyswatter, and I really don’t want to get out of bed, anyway.

I grab a magazine and figure if it comes close enough, I can get it. But it’s as if the little fucker can read my mind, and flies just out of reach. (Bastard.)

Then I have another idea. I have a pile of six rubber bands on my bedside table, and I start shooting them at the fly, which is now happily poised on the top of the teevee. One after another, I let them fly at the fly, but I’m wide every time. I’m down to my last rubber band, and I’m muttering to myself, like Bill Murray in “Caddyshack.”

Be the rubber band, become one with the rubber band,” I tell myself, and fire. Bullseye! Now I can go to sleep without worrying about a goddamned insect flying into my mouth. (Flies are attracted to the carbon dioxide you exhale. Now you can worry, too!)

And when I wake up this morning, I hear: “Bzzzzz…..” Little fucker survived. This is war.

Katelyn’s prom

I heard about this young girl a few days ago when she had a prom in her hospital room. Life is precious, don’t waste it.

Katelyn Norman, a Tennessee teenager whose bucket list rallied and inspired supporters from all over the country, died today after a two year battle with osteosarcoma, an aggressive bone cancer.

Katelyn, 14, died at East Tennessee Children’s Hospital at 8:19 a.m., according to hospital spokeswoman Erica Estep.

After fighting the cancer for two years, she was told last week that it had spread and there was not much more doctors could do. She was sent home to spend her last days with her family, but returned to the hospital on Tuesday when she was having trouble breathing.

Katelyn made a bucket list that included attending a prom, a last slow dance, learning to drive a car, a day with each sibling and seeing Italy.

A special prom for her was planned for Tuesday night in LaFollette, Tenn., but during the day Katelyn was having difficulty breathing and had to be taken to the hospital. Doctors told her she couldn’t go to her special prom, but she didn’t want that to stop others from going.

“Katelyn wanted the prom to go on. That’s her. That’s Katie bug,” Sharon Shepherd told ABCNews.com.

Shepherd works at Campbell County High School, where Katelyn was a freshman. She has known Katelyn since she was 5 years old and has grown even closer to the teen since her diagnosis in eighth-grade.

Katelyn then enjoyed her own prom in her hospital room, complete with disco balls hung from the ceiling, her white suit-wearing date, other friends in dresses and suits and her own prom queen sash and crown.

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