What would you say if Barry came knocking?

President Obama was at the Jersey shore today to signal support for those who got slammed by Frankenstorm. If I lived there and Barry came to my door, I’d ask for help but I’d expect him to say “We’re gonna see a lot more freak storms like this, thanks to global warming. Why the hell do you live on a barrier island?”

No, seriously, I’d thank him for staying on the job even though the election is next week, and for not staging political rallies disguised as charity events. (I’m thinking of cheesy Mitt Romney, collecting canned goods in Ohio, refusing to admit that he’s the guy who vowed to get rid of FEMA.) I’d remind Obama that he’s in a tight race because he seemed in his first term to be more concerned with bailing out Wall Street crooks than with helping create jobs. I’d assure him that he has my vote, but only because his opponent is a disgusting and dangerous liar.

What would you say to Barry?


They should move everything back at least a half-mile. But since rich people own the beachfront, they’ll get to build in the same places again:

LONG BEACH TOWNSHIP, N.J. -Some environmentalists say New Jersey should consider not rebuilding everything lost to Superstorm Sandy.

U.S. Geological Survey scientist Jeffress Williams says that rising sea levels and changing weather patterns make it likely that the coast will be hit by more frequent destructive storms.

He and other shoreline advocates say officials should consider restricting development to reduce the harm storms can do. They suggest relocating homes and businesses farther from the ocean, building more seawalls and keeping sand dunes high.

Red Cross benefit concert

Ah, now we know why Springsteen fan Chris Christie was being nice to Obama!

NEW YORK — NBC is doing a benefit concert for victims of Hurricane Sandy featuring some artists native to the areas hardest hit.

Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi of New Jersey and Billy Joel of Long Island are scheduled to appear at the concert Friday.

The telecast will benefit the American Red Cross and will be shown on NBC and its cable stations including Bravo, CNBC, USA, MSNBC and E! Other networks are invited to join in.

The concert will be hosted by Matt Lauer. It will air at 8 p.m. Eastern and will be taped-delayed in the West.

Other performers include Christina Aguilera, Sting and Jimmy Fallon.

Fake story about Romney rings true

Andy Borowitz in the New Yorker, joking about what “pro-life” really means to Mittens:

Hitting the campaign trail one day after the arrival of Superstorm Sandy, Republican nominee Mitt Romney tweaked his position on abortion today, saying he now supports it in cases where it makes people vote for him.
“I would make an exception for abortion in cases where the life of my campaign is at stake,” he told a crowd in Kettering, Ohio.
Sandy, which slammed into the East Coast last night, was such a powerful weather system that it prevented Mr. Romney from changing his position on abortion for twenty-four hours.
“It was important for Mitt to come up with a new position on abortion today,” said his campaign manager, Matt Rhoades. “It sends a message to the American people that in the aftermath of Sandy, things are getting back to normal.”
Mr. Romney made no reference to his comments about eliminating FEMA, which have been declared a disaster area.

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