What I’m playing

I didn’t pay attention to the weather reports for the past few days, but when I woke up this morning, I knew from the absence of street noise it had snowed – two or three inches.

I wandered over to my old Yamaha guitar and tried to pick out all the words to this song, written during the long hard winter of early 1999. (Of course right after I wrote it, we had several mild winters with little snow. Oh well.) I remember playing it at a February gig the next year where the audience members were still in shirtsleeves.

Anyway, it’s called “First Snow This Winter” and the songwriters I really respect tell me it’s my best one:

Tonight I watched the snow come down
By the halo of a streetlight
The traffic muffled by the icy white
Oh yeah, I thought of you
Wished you were here to hold me
You’re such a locked-up box
Sometimes I told myself I might be the key
And then I’d scold myself
For believing I could ever see inside you

The first time we made love, you held my hand
Such a tender thing, it almost made me cry
I got scared and pushed you away
Baby, I don’t mean to do it
I really don’t
I use my words like weapons
But I hold them out in front so you will see
That the only one I ever mean to hurt
Is me

Tonight I watched the snowflakes falling
Turned the dark sky white
I watched the people driving
They all have a place to go tonight
Oh babe you know I thought of you
Even though you don’t want me to
You’re not such a mystery
Sometimes I wonder if I might hold the key
And then I doubt myself
For believing I could ever see inside you

That last time we made love, you held my hand
Such a tender thing, you know it made me cry
I got scared, pushed you away
Babe I never mean to do it, I really don’t
I use my words like weapons
But I hold them out in front so you will see
That the only one I ever mean to hurt is
Me.

Copyright 1999 S. Madrak