For want of a more precise term, I’ve concluded that having surgery tears a giant gash in the integrity of your body’s energy field. I think it takes more than physical healing – it’s almost as if your “self” has to knit itself back together. I once interviewed a famous surgeon, who told me (off the record) that he absolutely agreed — but wouldn’t say it publicly because “people would think I was crazy.”

So I totally relate to this story.

Also, please note how many of the Calvinist scolds in the comments tell her how she should shut up and be grateful.

6 thoughts on “Scars

  1. Positive energy going in, positive energy coming out. Or the other way ’round. Some things are beyond our control. So being angry about the why of it or the solution to it makes no sense. Logically. Van Gogh said, “Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captians of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” It’s sad when people don’t act the way their own insights direct they should, isn’t it?

  2. Um, it couldn’t be that she tranferred her anger and anxiety about having cancer to the fact that she had to have surgery, could it? I find the whole story kinda puzzling. What was the surgeon supposed to use to excise her metastisizing cancer? A divining rod and a magnet?
    On the other hand, if you’re worried about how you’ll feel after gall bladder surgery, you can speak to people who’ve had two extended stays in the hospital while suffering from pancreatitis caused by a stone blocking one of their ducts. The anger and anxiety they felt was alleviated by the removal of the gall bladder and they have very few side effects from the surgery.
    Of course, it’s your call. But please don’t whine about it later if you decide to skip the surgery.

  3. You know, I still think about the fact that my guts were wide open to the blue skies (or more correctly, the operating room ceiling) when my daughter was born.
    If I think about it, I remember that first plaintive cry, and the smell of burning when I had my tubes tied. But mostly I remember lying there with my arms spread and weighted, unable to move, open to the universe.

  4. I think its normal to be upset by the idea of having to give up bits and pieces of yourself(I know I am as I consider having my uterus removed anyway). I’d imagine over the years we get attached to our body parts and frustrated when they start to fail. I do think that some of the anger at the doctor though is exactly as riverdaughter says, transferance. It isn’t nearly as satisfying to be angry at fate, a disease, or God. So instead we find ourselves blaming the messenger, which in this case is the doctor.

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