I had a friend who was a psychologist, one of the first people to use cognitive therapy. One of his philosophies is that depression results from using the word “should” — that depression is the result of telling yourself how things “should” be, instead of accepting them the way they actually are.
I was thinking how this applies to politics, and economics, and the shithole we’re in. We’re not the first people to live through tremendous negative conditions, and even in the worst of times, people sought and frequently managed not only to survive, but to find some small joys. It doesn’t do any good to allow ourselves to steep in despair. It’s a good idea to shift focus, at least some of the time. Because really, all this crap is paralyzing us.
7 thoughts on “Deep thoughts”
“This too will pass.” The fuax Left, let’s call them Capitalist Liberals/Progressives, want to take us all back to the bad old days. Why can’t we all just get along they lament. We need a “grand bargin” or some “compromise legislation” they say. The reason we’re in the “shithole we’re in” is because of past grand bargins and compromise legislation like Obamacare. The Left’s world view is exactly opposite to that of the Right’s world view on how we reach utopia. So what’s to compromise. Never give up and never give in. And don’t let the bastards wear you down.
You need a “LIKE” button. 🙂
The point of shifting focus for a while is to rest, recharge, regenerate, renew, heal. It is good advice BUT so is NEVER GIVE UP AND NEVER GIVE IN. It is a balancing act that can go awry, it gets the best of some of us (myself and several very close friends included).
I “should be” employed. I am pretty fortunate as my sig other and I planned our (meager) finances a long time ago for a disaster like a disability or one of us being out of work unexpectedly.
At the beginning of this year I really was very discouraged, the past year was pretty challenging on my attitude. I had many interviews, but no offers. Even temp services are not hiring. Then I had a thought like this, “If you had all the time in the world, what would you do?” Well, I DO have all the time in the world. I have very limited resources, but, I have a household full of fun things I have collected like cameras and all. I have plenty of other girlfriends my age in the same boat that just don’t want to sit around in misery. So, I decided that I couldn’t be paralyzed in “should be” and “what if.”
I have no idea what is coming down the road. I am one illness away from financial disaster (it has happened to me before.) But, I find a lot of comfort in doing things, now, that I wished I had more time doing when I was making that sale in the office. 🙂
I also “should be” employed, and I “should be” financially independent as I was for 35 years. I “should be” able to afford my health care and I “should be” able to do business w/a bank & not be cheated. And there are a lot more “should be”s where those came from. Instead I have come to accept that these & more are beyond my grasp & will remain so for the rest of my life, but I’ll be damned if I like it. I was diagnosed w/dysthymia a while back but I disagree, I don’t see how any other thoughtful caring person who pays attention could could react to all the bs here in Amerikkka. (FWIW I notice that the ‘happier’ people in my world pay little attention to the world outside of their personal space and so would conjecture an inverse correlation between ‘happiness’ & ‘paying attention’)
Some of this week’s small joys:
The crooked moron from Alaska/Arizona was loudly booed at an Indiana Pacers’ basketball game.
The crooked moron from Minnesota decided not to run for reelection.
Should and musts, known otherwise as ‘musterbation’.
Often in CBT we help people sides about their thoughts altogether, as well as working with the content of them…
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