D-I-V-O-R-C-E

BREAKING: Donald Trump Jr.’s Wife Taken to the Hospital After Opening Envelope Containing White Powder

Donald Trump Jr. and wife Vanessa:

Divorce proceedings have not yet been initiated, but friends say they expect the couple to file soon. A spokesperson for Don Jr., Vanessa and the Trump Organization declined to comment, despite numerous requests to do so over two days.

One source told us, “The problems have been there for a long time, the couple had hoped to stay together during the president’s time in office, but it is getting harder to resolve their issues. He’s never there.”

Don Jr., 40, has been traveling a lot. In February he was in India, and he has continued to take his hunting trips. Don Jr. is an avid hunter and there are many pictures of him online posing with the carcasses of elephants, leopards and other animals.

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