Category: My So-Called Life

Postscript

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

I spent the morning of my birthday in the ER because I had exceedingly high blood pressure all week.

It was a rough week. It involved a lost IKEA package and two absolutely vile FedEx employees. I don’t want to recount the details because it’s like reliving the whole crazy experience.

The ER doctor was convinced I was having a mini-stroke –not because of the high blood pressure, but because of the tingling all along the left side of my face. I tried to explain it happened all the time (I can trigger it by using my left hand to cut and paste) but he was not having it. He wanted me to stay overnight for more tests; I told him no.

He wanted me to see my primary care doctor for a follow up, which I did yesterday. I am nothing if not cooperative. My regular doctor readily agreed I was not having a stroke — he was more concerned that I had low potassium levels AGAIN.

I told him the low potassium made me woozy and clumsy, which of course convinced the ER doctor more than ever that I was having a stroke. But I was not.

So I went home, took a shower and met my best friend for a birthday dinner at Silk City. It was wonderful.

Gag me

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

My last sales job was at a place where they wanted to record the cold calls and I would only speak if they picked up the phone. I did everything I could to sabotage it — told my boss the line kept dropping, etc. Because what I learned in sales is that the decision makers on the other end of the line are often fairly bright people who are bored with the kind of people they have to speak with.

They loved talking to someone like me! I’d do things like ask what their major was in college, and riff on that. I remember telling one hedge fund manager that their business model was inherently immoral, and what would they tell their kids when that became apparent? You’d think they would just hang up on me, but no — they liked sparring with an intelligent person!

I had people offer me jobs without ever meeting me. “I don’t understand most of what you’re saying, but I can tell you’re not a bullshitter,” one of them told me. (The one and only time I flew first class, I was seated next to a Midwest CEO who hated Democrats. I didn’t change his mind, but by the time we landed, he’d offered me a job.)

Would any of that happen with AI?

Now, sales departments always want you to make more calls. When I became head of my sales department, I actually lowered the number of calls they had to make. At the end of the year, my department’s sales went up 300%! Because you are more likely to get someone who’s genuinely interested if you can actually converse with them. And I’ll bet you that most of the bites you get with AI don’t actually convert to large numbers. High-level sales is always about personal connection.

How I got straightened out

~ susie

I’m going to tell you how my surgical knee just got straightened out, thanks to something that conventional medicine considers a cult — Structural Integration, aka rolfing.

When I was having the first knee done, I asked my doctor if rolfing was something I could do after the surgery. “You should do it before the surgery,” he urged me. So. I borrowed the money to get it done (I will eventually pay her back. I swear) and it was a rousing success. I mean, I could tell if I’d done this 10 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have needed the surgery. And when I was in recovery, my PT team was amazed at my progress. I walked out of the rehab center without a walker or cane.

What was really nice about it was, I gained real confidence in my body’s ability to heal itself, given the right tools. Because I gotta tell you, having your knee chiseled and then getting a new one hammered into your tibia seems pretty damned primitive.

The second surgery was very different. Because of the years my leg was bent in the wrong direction, my recovery was difficult and slow, and it even affected my good leg and hip. Two months later, I still couldn’t find a position that would let me sleep all night, and my leg hurt constantly. (I did mention they don’t give you many painkillers, right?)

I was pretty depressed and as my PT pointed out, I was losing bend in the surgical leg. I also couldn’t straighten it out, which was kind of the point of the surgery. The PT kept trying to push it back down, but the pain was too intense. (I have a high pain threshold, in case you wondered.) At this point, I was even considering something called MUA — manipulation under anesthesia, where they put you under and bend your leg all the way. But my PT said it was too early to consider that.

So I went back to my rolfer for one session only (normally, they do 10, but this was more of a tuneup).

We chatted while he was working on me. He’s getting married in a couple of weeks, they’ve saving to buy a house. Etc. I told him about the Lemon Twigs. He said they sounded like a band he would like.

“Your leg is pretty crooked,” he noted. Now, one of the things about the pain is that I get what feels like electric jolts all over the area, and large areas of skin are acutely sensitive. It hurts just to have a sheet over it.

So I steeled myself. “Don’t be surprised if I scream,” I said. But I didn’t. Somehow, even though he started working on the area right away, it didn’t hurt. And then he worked on releasing scar tissue around each and every staple scar on my knee – 20 or so. “I really wish they used glue instead of staples,” he grumbled.

A few days later, and I’m feeling so much better. Even my PT was impressed. “Your swelling has gone way down,” he said. “And your leg is almost straight again!”

There’s still some pain, but it’s tolerable. Yay, Ida Rolf!

Summer fund drive

~ susie ~ 5 Comments

UPDATE: A few generous readers have covered the cost (thanks, guys!), so now this is a summer fund drive.

How long have you been reading this blog, or listening to the music videos? Have you ever contributed? The time I spend on “this sucky blog,” as Atrios would say, is time I can’t be earning money elsewhere. It’s my choice, but I would like more of you to donate because, frankly, it validates my choice and every little bit helps. For example, a $12 monthly subscription would cover my hosting fees. A $20 donation covers allergy meds.

So if you can help support this 22-year-old blog, it would be much appreciated.

Venmo: @Susan-Madrak-1

Or you can donate to Paypal here.

 

 

Under pressure

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

I forget whether I mentioned my blood pressure is through the roof? Anyway, turns out the diuretics that have me running to the bathroom all night have also been washing away my body’s potassium — which is how I ended up in the emergency room all day Friday.

I had no idea what was wrong; my stomach hurt, I wanted to throw up, and it felt like the room was spinning every time I stood up or sat down. So off I went.

(Humorous aside:  My doctor was defensive when I asked him why he was wearing a Yankees surgical cap. He said, “Can’t we both agree that we hate the Mets?” I had to admit, he was right.)

Turns out lack of potassium affects pretty much everything: muscles, nerves, organs — which is why I was so dizzy and fatigued all week. For the next two weeks, I have to take a potassium drink twice a day ($62 with GoodRx. I’m still not feeling normal, so forgive any typos.)

So I went and found a salon that was open on Mondays and got all my hair chopped off. It was pretty long, but summer is coming and I felt like making a clarifying statement — which is, damn, I’m tired of all this bullshit.

Now I have to get kidney function tests today. I am annoyed at all the attention this demands. And I am very, very tired. No, I don’t know what my blood pressure is, I stopped taking it. If I’m doing everything they tell me to do and I’m not getting better, fuck it.