Kind of a big deal for me. For about a month, I’ve had so much trouble walking, and it made me really depressed. But in the past week, my PT pushed really, really hard — and it was enough to break through the chronic pain and stiffness in my surgical knee. I haven’t used a cane since.

As I think I’ve mentioned, the mechanics are out of whack until I get the other knee fixed. But for now, it’s as good as I can hope. I can get up out of a chair!

*Sigh* Just had to order a refurbished desktop ($200) and have $100 in new monthly prescriptions that aren’t covered by my insurance. Oh, and because this was a particularly rough week, I FORGOT to make my credit card payments and now I’m fucked.

If you can, please make a donation. I’m mostly doing fine, but these unexpected expenses really rock the boat. Even better, sign up for a monthly subscription plan on Paypal. Those $5 and $10 donations really add up, and make my life easier!

The distributor was supposed to call and make an appointment with me Tuesday or Wednesday so they could ship out the new machine. They didn’t. I called them, they said someone will call me no later than Friday. (Sure, you will!)

I woke up yesterday at 3 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I figured I’d get an early start on the day’s work. Ha, ha! Turns out the Windows update I recklessly allowed to take place overnight completely bollixed the machine and it won’t boot. I F12’d the hell out of it, but no dice. So I had to use my laptop, which has a 13-inch screen (as opposed to the 24-inch monitor I typically use. Squinting made my eyes hurt.)

Then I had an appointment with a pulmonologist about the whole cpap mess. Surprisingly, he did know quite a lot about the recall (but not as much as me). One thing he did discover is that I now have asthma. I wonder if it has anything to do with the toxic fumes that have been blowing into my lungs for months?

And I managed to find a computer tech who makes housecalls. Hopefully, it will all be fine by the weekend.

I’m so tired and I just want everything to work.

We all know by now that growing old is a constant battle to preserve whichever part of your body is causing you the most aggravation at the time. For me, right now, it is my back. Because I sit and read so much, it’s important.

I never really had a bad back (doctors would look at my MRIs and say, “Are you sure your back doesn’t hurt?”), but since the car crash last year, the thoracic spine is in open rebellion. I hate it, because I never used to have to think about it! The neurologist prescribed a big hard brace, but come on, you can’t wear something like that all the time — I don’t even remember it until I’m in pain.

Fortunately, I have some other stuff that helps, too — like a rotating accupressure massage thingy that I used to use on my neck and shoulder (because that was always the trouble spot from sitting and typing). Now all I do is let it drop down six inches and it pounds away.

And then there’s the big hard foam roller, where you lie on your back, roll over it and let it unknot you. (Which is a lot more challenging than it used to be, what with only one working knee. It’s difficult to get up off the floor.)

Anyway. Getting old sucks. It’s all maintenance.

For the past three months or so, I’ve been inhaling toxic fumes in my sleep — not to get high, just because I have one of the recalled C-pap machines that’s been in the news.

But two good things happened this week. One is that I noticed I wasn’t waking up with a chemical taste in my mouth or with chest pains. I know from past experience* with offgassing fumes is that it does stop eventually and I think that’s what happened.

The other is that the C-pap distributor has finally approved me for a new, non-toxic machine and I should be breathing clean air in a week or two.

*Weeks of hell with a memory foam mattress taught me that if I didn’t offgas before bringing it into my apartment, I was doomed to sleep on my shitty couch for weeks.