Yesterday I had an appointment for another scan. My appointment was for one, they told me to be there at noon. I finally got the scan at three.

This will be my life for the foreseeable future. Waiting, waiting, waiting. They wheeled in a woman on a gurney whose face looked absolutely blank, like she’d given up and didn’t know why she was there.

Last night I had a dream. Someone I knew was in my house, someone who wasn’t supposed to be there. He dove at me but I sidestepped him. He lunged at me, closer –I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. I took a deep breath and exhaled forcefully, saying “Help!

When I woke up, my throat was sore. I must have screamed in my sleep.