Translation
May 19th, 2008 at 7:44 am by Chris
I still can’t stop laughing.
Some 75,000 dead-enders flocked to Portland’s waterfront Sunday to watch Barack Obama speak, while the remaining population of Portland (estimated to be 493,000 hard-working salt-of-the-earth white Americans) stayed away in droves. Thousands stood on the lawn, dozens watched from their elitist boats and from the bridge stretching across the Willamette River. A few kayakers (an elitist sport by the way) raised their paddles in mindless obedience to the so-called messiah, their eyes glassy and uncomprehending, as they watched the candidate, who stood on a makeshift platform, refuse to admit that the dream is over while clinging to his stubborn and divisive refusal to accept the obvious.
Obama conceded as much by hailing Clinton as a “formidable candidate,” saying she “has been smart and tough and determined and she has worked as hard as she can and she has run an extraordinary campaign….but unfortunately she is a woman.”
Then he reportedly made a discrete but clearly obscene gesture accompanied by disgusting sex noises while his followers laughed and laughed like the world was coming to an end… just like it will if he is elected. In the distance came the sound of a lonely ice cream truck which made me sad for the children. Really really sad.
I think I need to title every post I write “This post will make more sense if you read the byline.”
And just out of curiosity, why is this such a stumbling block. It seems straightforward enough.
You can even click on the name and find all sorts of exciting things like old posts with lots of shit me being an Obama supporter.
Where’s the part about the loaves and fishes?
What is this click you speak of?
man,
that post made me want a latte…
Chris,
mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
Why don’t we read the byline? Well, my excuse (and I’m sticking to it) is that this has been blog exclusively Susie’s posts for so long that we’ve gotten used to it.
That, and we’re all lazy MFers. That’s why we need lattes to perk up in the morning.
i thought chris was susie?
or maybe susie was chris.
i’m so confused
Look, I get confused about it as well. But all I have to do is look at the name tag my mom sewed into the back of my shirt and then I’m not confused anymore. You cats mostly don’t have that luxury, unless my mom has been sewing my name into your shirts. It’s fine. Better than fine. It gives me something to complain about which is all I’ve ever asked of life.
And snuzy, if I’m not mistaken, I think Susie is actually Supyernoz. It’s all a little confusing.
Okay, I understand to some degree a feminist predilection for Hillary. Hey I thought she had it in in the bag. (btw I’m male) I generally support feminism; I’ve studied under feminist theologians that I respect without qualification; I’m the father of one child who happens to be female; I’m married to a woman ( I still struggle with my understanding of womanhood).
What I don’t understand is this post. It strikes me wrong. I was ready to support Ms. Clinton with everything I had. Along the way I decided Barack was the candidate that had the best possibility of helping our country righting itself.
I live a few miles up the river from Portland. This post is not funny to me. Sometime, somewhen we have to come together; the stakes are too high, tho Hillary is a remarkable woman, I believe that Bararck is the presumptive nominee and deserves the support of every Democrat.
PS.
I’ve two backgrounds… I was a pastor for many years in the liberal wing of the Baptist denomination. I’ve affinity for Jeremiah Wright. My seminary gave him public support. It has a direct connection with Martin Luther King Jr.
My new testament professor, Beverly Gaventa, was a woman. And, a very insightful person who helped me revise my male bias in my worldview. I have one child, a daughter. I hope she has the opportunity to be president. I think she’s smarter enough. I think Hillary is smart enough, ready enough…. I just think somehow she didn’t put together the right strategy.
How about Supreme Court Justice… we need Hillary’s brilliant mind and determination working for our country.
i think don doesn’t get chris’ hipster humor
Stares blankly. Coughs. Scratches at a scab. I think I wrote something about this once.
I’ve been having this weird dream lately where I’m talking to a group of people and I think that the words coming out of my mouth are formed properly and are in an order which communicates something approaching coherence. But that’s not what happens. Nothing like it. I can tell because everybody is just staring at me as though I’m an unhinged loon spewing gibberish while farting in church. Nothing that leaves my mouth makes a bit of sense by the time it reaches anybody’s ears. I’m perplexed, but then I notice that some hack William S. Burroughs wannabe, dressed up like the Green Fairy from Moulin Rouge, is intercepting my words in transit, cutting them up with scissors, throwing them up in the air, pasting them back together in random order and then sending them along to their intended audience. People start getting irate and throwing chairs around the room and then it gets worse. I say something like “baby pandas are adorable” and somebody responds by saying “how dare you suggest that Bob Dole is the sex icon to end all sex icons.” Confused, I ask where that person got the idea that I think Bob Dole is a sex icon, let alone the sex icon to end all sex icons and they respond by saying that “there is no way in hell you could compete in synchronized swimming with the likes of Ester Williams, you arrogant bastard.” I agree, but it doesn’t seem to calm tempers any. The rest of the dream is okay because I spend it eating paste.
OMFG, you dream that you’re Jonah Goldberg? Get to a shrink! I hear that they have really powerful medications that can help with that.