Signs of the Great Recession

From a forwarded email…

Here are the signs:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your cheque marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally…

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

9 thoughts on “Signs of the Great Recession

  1. A couple of humorous items.
    But also a couple that sound reminiscent of e-mails from right-wing nutjobs. Such as the last two.
    Perhaps you could have deleted those particular items before posting.
    Or have I become a humorless old curmudgeon ?

  2. This one :
    > CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
    doesn’t belong.

    The _average_ CEO got a 29 % raise last year.
    CEOs and shareholders are enjoying record corporate profitiability, now that all those pesky workers have been disposed of.

    The class war is over and they won.

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