Hard truths

There are women who will have sex, pretend or otherwise, with anyone they consider even a minor celebrity. And if those women engage with that man, and indulge in sexual activity with him, he becomes a sexual predator and a misogynist. He is now an outcast, unsuitable for human company.

I have so much trouble keeping the rules straight!

Look, men have a lot of screwy ideas about sex, much of it gleaned from a combination of two things. Watching or reading porn is one way; having sex with women who aren’t honest about what works is another. I know a lot of women who pretend to like those porn scenarios because their guys like it and they figure, what’s the harm?

Well, the harm is that they begin to believe that’s what all women want. And even a consenting woman faced with that kind of aggression might be scared.

Back in the early days of the internet, before Windows even existed, I spent a lot of time in online chat rooms. (Politics. Get your mind out of the gutter!) But even there, I’d have guys hitting on me and sending me sex messages of the Anthony Weiner variety. Frankly, it was boring. Badly written, not in sync with my unique psyche, and clearly taken from porn movies. (Hey, maybe one of them was Weiner!)

I didn’t get into it, but I had friends who did. They pretended to be excited while they were laughing their asses off on the other end. Do guys really believe everything they read on the internets, or in Penthouse letters? Did they really think all of these total strangers were really into them?

Guys think about sex, a lot. I read somewhere that guys think about sex an average of 40 time an hour. I repeated this to a friend; she didn’t believe me and called her husband into the room: “Honey, this isn’t true, is it?”

He said yeah, of course it was.

“And even when you meet women you’re not attracted to, you still think what it would be like to have sex with them?”

Affirmative. (My friend was really mad by this time. But at what? The fact that guys think about sex all the time?)

Given the right circumstances, all kinds of people get into sexual situations you wouldn’t believe. It’s just part of being human. The part about leaving an electronic trail? Well, you know, stupid. Wishful thinking. Hubris.

But let’s not forget that high-testosterone men are prone to the same kinds of risk-taking behavior. Look at Wall Street, Hollywood, rock music, professional sports.

While you may not want to have such a person in your life, they’re not sub-human. They’re just not that evolved.

Men, remember: As someone pointed out on Jon Stewart last night, if we weren’t interested in having sex with you in the first place, sending us a picture of your junk isn’t going to seal the deal.

5 thoughts on “Hard truths

  1. Ok, I’ll bite, Suze. So, exactly how many times per hour did your girlfriends think about sex? And, is Weiner (and the rest of us male heathens who dream of nothing but pussy, and more pussy, night after fucking night) one of those men who “are just not that evolved”?


  2. Nicely done, very nicely done. But I disagree on one point – porn, is nothing more than a conspiracy, a collusion, to reinforce the jew/christian/muslim cult of male domination.

    It serves only to make male domination acceptable.

  3. I’m surprised the conversation didn’t go:

    I repeated this to a friend; she didn’t believe me and called her husband into the room: “Honey, this isn’t true, is it?”

    He said “No, of course not”.

    “It’s MUCH more than 40 times an hour”

    I do take exception to the “not that evolved” comment, because evolution doesn’t work that way. If being a total horndog results in more offspring, then evolution will push the species in that direction, regardless of the pain and suffering that results.

    As for self-destructive impluses and sex, just look at what happens to the male praying mantis, and ask “WHAT was he THINKING?”

  4. The part about not being that evolved — if you constantly risk the love and respect of your primary relationship because of your risk-taking behavior, well, you’re just not that evolved. If you were, you’d assess the risk versus the downside and figure out some way to override your compulsive behavior. Evolved people are driven toward authenticity.

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