Dan Savage on why it’s unrealistic to think monogamy is the best thing for a marriage. Discuss!
2 thoughts on “Infidelity”
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Dan Savage on why it’s unrealistic to think monogamy is the best thing for a marriage. Discuss!
Comments are closed.
‘Truth Games’ http://is.gd/gAg3ZZ explores issues of infidelity in 1970s London, when the freedoms of the swinging 60s began to run into trouble. It’s the two blazing hot summers of 75 and 76, and a group of friends are getting way out of their depth in infidelity. Thought-provoking stuff. Readers’ reviews on Amazon.co.uk
I don’t think monogamy is natural. That being said I do believe it is the best thing for MY marriage. If I cheated it would hurt my spouse to believe that he’s not enough. He’s a good man and a good father. He believes in traditional values like fidelity. And that, for me, is enough to fight impulsive behavior that might feel good short term, but be bad long term (and yes I’ve had discussions with my spouse on my feelings, including the “getting a boyfriend” discussion). Additionally, I also know that I wouldn’t be keen on “sharing” my spouse with someone else. I truly don’t want to know and have said as much (yes, I’ve basically given him permission with the caveat that he use discretion and protection. He claims to never have used it. I believe him.) I think it’s a bit presumptuous to assume what is good for one marraige would necessarily be good for another. Different people are going to have different relationships which place different priorities on different things. They change (or stay the same) along with us.
I do think with fidelity some of the pain is over the fact that spouses aren’t truthful with each other and communicating their needs. Marriages and long term commitments are work. They aren’t easy.