How many male novelists does it take to make a joke?

The Toast has posted a bunch of male-novelist jokes, all of them in the “how many” format. Like this:

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: This lightbulb is inauthentic.

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: He straightened his tie. He had lost, but in a romantic way, which meant that he had won. “I’m going to do a pushup,” he announced to his tie. His tie respected him for it, and secretly wished that it could have sex with him.

Here’s one of my own:

Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. They retreated at dusk. He ran 30 miles, until his shins were splintered and his lungs on fire. The pain felt almost as good as a bullet. He sat and waited for the commissary mule with the keg of wine to catch up.