The thing I hate most about being poor


Well, the biggest thing is that worrying about money all the time makes my brain harder to use, but my brain is the only tool I have. It is so difficult to concentrate now that it’s a major effort to accomplish the smallest things, like going to the bank or folding laundry. So yes, those studies are correct.

The work itself fries my brain, the constant reading that isn’t really reading, just scanning. Everything I do that’s work-related is very fast, and the scanning just makes the focus problem worse. You know how, when your PC isn’t working right, and you go into safe mode? That’s me. I’ve been living in safe mode for months, using the fewest possible mental resources.

And then we have the Primary Wars. (Dear God, deja vu all over again.) I have apparently banked no personal credibility at all in the past 13 years. I am a shill, a liar, a corporatist whore, a Blue Dog. Oh, and blinded by estrogen. Because as we know, white men don’t have identity politics.

All I want is I to finish writing my book. I think about it like a desert oasis, even dream about it. I’m so tired. I finish working at 9, 10 o’clock at night and I need to rest my brain. What can I do that I’m not doing? How can I fix this?

What if it can’t be fixed?

5 thoughts on “The thing I hate most about being poor

  1. Susie – I wish there were some magical cure. The older I get the less I worry about what others think so don’t let them drag you down. Your instincts are awesome and you do the homework! I believe in you!

    Please be assured my day isn’t complete without visits here and C&L – you are very much appreciated and do a huge service for progressives everywhere. Please take care of yourself.

  2. Money can’t buy happiness at all, but it sure can solve problems. And when it just plain isn’t there, I’ve never figured out how to solve those problems either.

    You and David Dayen are the best reporters out there. Please keep at it so I can keep getting alerted to breaking problems months before everyone else! … I realize that doesn’t help you in any way. :major frown and cry face here:

  3. It really sounds like you’re spreading yourself too thin and taking more than your fair share of responsibility for reporting the news. Something’s gotta give, but why let it be your health and well-being? You could cut back on your blog, for example to Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so you could work on your book on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. You could take Sundays as self-care days; and do some gentle stretching and strengthening exercises (I’m 66 and like this as a resource: You could steam a bunch of string beans, zucchini, spinach and roast a couple bags of carrots. Then just heat them up during the week, with a couple Morningstar Buffalo Chik patties or whatever. Make a gallon batch of smoothies once a week and have a smoothie for a quick and easy breakfast, etc. Take a walk, a nap, listen to music – whatever you choose, it should be to help you feel good. I love your blog, but your well-being comes first. Wishing you all the best!

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