2 thoughts on “‘And then they’ll love me!’

  1. Thomas Jefferson had the Louisiana Purchase and Trump wants the Greenland Purchase.

    Trump wants to be recorded in every US history book as having accomplished as many feats as possible.

    He has already snatched the Worst President in History title from Buchanan and now he apparently wants to be known as the most famous fool in US history.

  2. So Fergus wants to buy Greenland.
    I wonder how that conversation went down:
    Fergus: Can we get them to throw in Bjork?

    Assistant Moron: Bjork is Icelandic, sir.

    F: What does that mean?

    AM: She is from Iceland, not Greenland.

    F: But I thought Greenland was the place with all of the ice.

    AM: There certainly is a lot of ice in Greenland, sir, but there is an island called Iceland, and that’s where Bjork is from.

    F: But there’s a lot of ice there, or they wouldn’t have called it Iceland, right? And if it’s an island, there must be a tremendous amount of water as well. Do they have hurricanes there? Could we get it as a package deal, Bjork and all?

    AM: Iceland is a sovereign country, sir. It’s not for sale.

    F: Could we maybe invade it? Or would the bombs melt all of the ice?

    AM:*looking around for something to hang himself with* You’ll have to ask the pentagon, sir.

    F: Oh good, everyone at the pentagon loves me. Have you noticed that? Everyone there loves me. So they’ll be happy when I call them. What was I going to ask them again?

    AM: About Bjork, sir.

    F: Oh, that’s right. Bjork. People tell me that Bjork loves me. She loves me more than any other president. And I always get bigger crowds than her, but people tell me she loves me anyway.

    AM:*bites off part of his finger* I think I need a band-aid, sir.

    F: Get out of here and don’t bleed on the carpet!

    AM: I’ll try not to, sir.


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