One of the things about chemo is that, in addition to fatigue, you experience weakness. But some people insist on explaining to me that they’re the same thing, and IF ONLY I would do X, Y, or Z, I’d feel better. (Like I’m just not trying hard enough to feel better!)
I’m doing the best I can. I assure you, I am not clinging to the nausea and diarrhea because I like it. Honest.
But pancreatic cancer is a disease of your digestive system, and it ain’t easy. No way, no how.
Plus, my ADD executive function is a mess. The other day, I held onto a TV dinner with my right hand and put my cell phone in the microwave with my left AND TURNED IT ON. Bye bye, newly refurbished cell! I retrieved the sim card, which was only a little scorched, and put it in the old phone (which drops signals all the time).
My point being is, this shit ain’t easy. Send me jokes!
Donald Trump is in Berlin for his first state visit with Angela Merkel. Trump quickly asks what the secret of her great success is.
Merkel tells him you just have to have a lot of intelligent people around you.
“How do you know so quickly if someone is intelligent?” asks Trump.
“Let me demonstrate.” She picks up the phone, calls Wolfgang Schäuble and asks him a question, “Mr. Schäuble, it’s your father’s son, but is not your brother. Who is it?”
Without hesitation, Schäuble answers, “Quite simply, it’s me!”
“You see,” Merkel tells Trump, “this is how I test people’s intelligence.”
Thrilled, Trump flies home, immediately calling his running mate, Mike Pence, to ask him the same question. “It’s your father’s son, but is not your brother. Who is it?”
After much back and forth, Pence says, “I have no idea, but I will try to find out the answer by tomorrow!” Pence just can’t figure it out and decides to seek advice from former President Obama. He calls him, “Mr. Obama, it’s your father’s son, but is not your brother. Who is it?” he asks Obama. “Easy, it’s me!”
Happy to have found the answer, Pence calls Trump and says triumphantly, “I have the answer, it’s Barack Obama!” Trump rages and says, “No you jackass, it’s Wolfgang Schäuble!”