Energy tsunami

Yeah yeah yeah, there’s nothing to astrology. Nope. You know, because you just KNOW. Because you’re so much more rational than deluded people. (Like moi.) Me, I’m just the ADD person who’s been studying it for 40 years, and I’ll just note that with my attention span (or lack thereof), I could never have followed it for this long without it rewarding my focus.

Anyway, everyone’s really irritated lately. Under the current astrological weather patterns, I’d say if you are living an inauthentic life (and God knows, we all have for at least some period of time), well, good luck. Remember what I said about Pluto in Aquarius and tearing shit down that needs it? Did you see those kids in the Tennessee statehouse this week? Shit will be torn down, bet on it.

Years ago, I avidly blew through a series of books a friend recommended. (Susan Howatch’s Church of England “Starwatch” series, if you’re interested.) I resisted; for one thing, the books were really long and dense. But I’m glad I persevered. And every time I tried to talk someone into reading one of them, they were very sniffy. “That doesn’t sound like something I would like,” they’d say. But I’d wear them down.

When I’d see them again, they’d say, almost apologetic, “Do you have any more of those books?”

It’s six books, and while they include many of the same characters, they’re all stand-alone. But you get a different perspective on each character in every book. And one of Howatch’s powerful literary devices is to describe the false faces we sometimes mistake for our own authenticity. It was annoying as fuck; I’d think I really nailed one of the bad guys, but by the end of the book, I’d find out they had their own reasons and weren’t bad after all.

Shorter version: Humans are just human, and once you understand where they come from, they’re not so bad. Now, here’s the thing: If you show who you really are, warts and all–if you make yourself vulnerable and tell someone your truth, they may cut you off. Because relationships are a fragile, balanced system, right? and if the person you show yourself to is deeply invested in your false face, well, shit blows up. (My ex-husband and I got along so much better after we decided to get divorced, because we didn’t have to pretend anymore.)

I had this one boss who, on group calls, would present Really Terrible Ideas and beg, BEG for our feedback, and everyone would sit there, silent–because he clearly didn’t want feedback at all. Well, I finally got tired of choking back my opinions, and gave him some very mild feedback. That made me a marked woman, and I was fired within a few weeks. He gave me a lot of B.S. about how he wished me the best and hoped we could work together again someday — but told my co-workers I resigned to work on a book.

He was one fake, troubled motherfucker. And whenever I meet someone else who worked for him, we both look at each other and laugh. Because what can you say? It was an experience.

Yes, I’m an annoying know-it-all who believes some things that make people roll their eyes, but I’m me. Being true to myself has cost me jobs, relationships, and readers (have I mentioned the 6000 readers who left when I supported Hillary Clinton in the 2008 primary?) but I can’t imagine what it would be like to pretend when I didn’t have to.

Fortunately, we have Pluto in Aquarius for those of you who need a boot in the ass to get real.