My pledge to the GOP

First of all, I pledge not to choke the living shit out of the next Republican who tries to feed me this line of horseshit. Because that would be “wrong.” (Actually, it would be good on so many other levels — but legally? Wrong.)

I happen to think Carl Jung was a genius, because if you want to know what a man’s really up to, listen to the accusations he makes against other people. “Rising joblessness, crushing debt, and a polarizing political environment are fraying the bonds among our people and blurring our sense of national purpose. Like free peoples of the past, our citizens refuse to accommodate a government that believes it can replace the will of the people with its own.”

Are you kidding me? You have the audacity to repeat this line of happy horseshit (or at least let some true-believer intern write it for you)?

It’s really difficult to talk to mentally ill people — and make no mistake, you guys are mentally ill. (So are the Democrats, but I beat them up all the time and right now, it’s your turn.)

You don’t give a shit about the “common good.” Show me the last thing the Republican party has done for it. You pledge to “honor the Constitution”? All you care about the Constitution is how easily you can twist it to support your political interests. Tell you what, let’s get Roberts and Scalia on live TV and let them explain the Citizens United decision to the American voters, taking live call-in questions.

Oh and yes, all y’all just loves you some Tenth Amendment — mostly because it’s so easy to distort. Yes, we know what “state’s rights” is code for. So do your hard-core supporters, who will vote for anyone who tells them they’ll stop scary black and brown people from exercising what they claim are “rights.”

And liberty? You have the nerve to talk about liberty? You not only want to forbid access to abortion for rape and incest victims, you’re backing candidates who want to make birth control illegal.

Fuck you, and fuck the elephant you rode in on. Even wifebeaters eventually learn an important truth: You have to sleep sometime. Sooner or later, the new “Third World” workers of the U.S. will slam a cast iron frying pan on your sleeping heads.

Because once you rig the game, and buy off the refs, well, people won’t care anymore about sportmanship.

17 thoughts on “My pledge to the GOP

  1. It’s real easy to talk tough on the Internet, isn’t it? But if you had the spine to back your words with actions, you wouldn’t be a Leftard to begin with.

  2. I get my fair share of laughs. One of the biggest belly shakers of my life is going to be had this November, right after a Republican landslide that installs a majority in both the House and the Senate.

    Whistle past that graveyard, if you can.

  3. Glenn Greenwald explained the Citizens United decision pretty well, in that all 9 judges agreed that the law was prohibiting free speech. The dissent was only should the court move to protect free speech, or continue to unconstitutionally restrict it?

    They actually (narrowly) ruled on the side on the Constitution, so it’s really odd that you would use that as an example as a non-constitutional decision.

  4. Christians do not have to pledge to abstain from violence, do not refer to their political opponents as mentally ill unless they actually are (Like you, for instance. The Democrats have spent 50 years emptying the asylums, and well, here you are to prove it.), do not say things like “Fuck you, and fuck the elephant you rode in on.”

    For you to turn around and pretend that God will bless anything on your behalf, after you’ve shown your fellow Americans nothing but rage, bile and hatred is nothing short of patently offensive even to me, a rather staunch atheist.

    You should now feel free to take your hypocrisy, fold it till it’s all sharp corners and pound it up your ass.

  5. When Christians see other people who claim to be acting in a godly way do ungodly things, yes, it does tend to infuriate. And dealing with “Christians” who haven’t noticed that Jesus overwhelmingly spent more time talking about helping the poor than gay marriage or abortion is a trial. People who have that kind of cognitive dissonance are, yes, mentally ill. They’re seeing what they want to see.

    But yes, Christians do say “fuck you.” I’m a Christian, and I say it all the time. For all I know, Jesus said it when He turned over the moneychangers’ tables in the Temple, and the apostles were too polite to put it in writing.

    I do anger, but I don’t do bile or hate. And I mean it when I say “God bless you,” because you need healing and I hope you get it.

  6. Beams and motes, dear, beams and motes.

    Christ never said to use government to help the poor, in fact he said something about rendering unto Ceaser what was Ceaser’s, did he not?

    You’re no more Christian than I am. Some few of your words may claim so, but the vast majority stand in shouted defiance of the notion.

  7. Actually, you’re wrong.

    Deuteronomy 14:28-29
    At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns, so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

    Deuteronomy 15:7, 11
    If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.

    Leviticus 23:22
    When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God.

    Psalm 12:5
    Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise, says the LORD, I will protect them from those who malign them.

    Psalm 37:25-26
    I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.

    Psalm 41:1-2
    Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. The LORD will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes.

    Psalm 68:5
    A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling

    Psalm 112:9
    He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor, his righteousness endures forever; his horn [a] will be lifted high in honor.

    Proverbs 11:24-25
    One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

    Proverbs 14:21
    He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.

    Proverbs 14:31
    He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

    Proverbs 19:17
    He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done.

    Proverbs 21:13
    If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.

    Proverbs 22:9
    A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.

    Proverbs 28:27
    He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.

    Proverbs 31:8-9
    Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

    Isaiah 1:17
    Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

    Isaiah 58:6-7;10
    Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter– when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? …and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

    Ezekiel 16:49
    Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.

    Zechariah 7:8-10
    And the word of the LORD came again to Zechariah: “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.’

    Micah 6:8
    He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

    Matthew 6:1-4
    Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

    Matthew 25:41-45
    Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least among you, you did not do for me.’

    Mark 10:21
    Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

    Luke 6:38
    Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

    Luke 10:29-37
    But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'”Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

    Luke 12:33
    Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

    Luke 14:13-14
    But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.

    2 Corinthians 9:7
    Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

    Ephesians 4:32
    Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

    Hebrews 13:2
    Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

    Colossians 3:12
    Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

    1 Timothy 6:17-19
    Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

    James 1:27
    Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

    1 John 3:17-18
    If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

  8. Actually, I’m right.

    Not one of your quotes says a damned thing about government action. It’s all, every single last word of it, about PRIVATE CHARITY.

    If you had any reading comprehension skills at all you’d probably be a Libertarian. You haven’t the humility to be a Republican. But you sure wouldn’t be a Democrat.

  9. Remember what I said about cognitive dissonance? You see what you want to see. When Jesus is telling an entire town to lay up food to feed the poor and needy, that’s NOT government action?

  10. susie,

    It is rather sad that the ‘staunch atheist’ understands Christianity and the words of Jesus better than you, who profess to be one.

    And I say this as a Christian.

    On this thread at least, Randy is completely correct, and you, madam, are the epitome of cognitive dissonance.

    What I’ll pray for you is that God truly opens your eyes to your own hate and misunderstanding of God’s Word, for truly there is no fruit of the spirit evidenced in any of your writing that I can discern (you know…peace, love, joy, etc.).

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