Relax

So last night, after I listened to the recording of my session with the hypnotist, I took deep breaths and told myself to stay calm and undistracted. “Relax!” I said, as I looked in the mirror and brushed my teeth. “Deep breath,” I told myself as I filled a glass of water and swallowed my allergy pills.

Then I sat down on the toilet. Immediately the hinge snapped, the seat went flying and I landed on the floor, right on my butt.

Which, I have to tell you, really fucking harshed my mellow. So much for hypnosis!

6 thoughts on “Relax

  1. Feministe Blog version: How many male therapists does it take to remember to put down the toilet seat?

  2. There’s a parallel out in the macro-economy right now: everyone just keep doing what you’re doing (in the hypno-trance media controlled “real” world) while the infrastructure crumbles, nothing is done to avert climate-change conditions (like over a month of 100+ degree days in Texas; massive flooding, etc.), and our economy is continually crumbling . . . just relax, it’ll all work out, trust us
    (yeah right, while “they” prepare their life-boats as the Titanic goes down and we’re left re-arranging the deck chairs or playing in the band).

  3. QuackMD blog: Diagnose a problem that doesn’t exist. Go through perfunctory machinations looking for a ‘cure.’ Stay remote and objecting. Apply 100% pure snake oil. If you start to see dollar signs, it’s working (for you).

    Private-Public Partnerships blog: Charge $16/muffin, $6/cola. Everyone in accounting is sleepwalking in their padded cells, so it’s just de rigeur to pad your wallet to match.

    First to File legislation blog: Sorry. If it doesn’t bear the mark of trade, it isn’t the RealThing. Your app will be returned unopened.

    Modern Caesar Funny Thing blog: No Philia, No Forum.
    Billboard at the agora UPDATE: Today is Don’t Look Up Day there’s a *satellite falling*

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