So last night, after I listened to the recording of my session with the hypnotist, I took deep breaths and told myself to stay calm and undistracted. “Relax!” I said, as I looked in the mirror and brushed my teeth. “Deep breath,” I told myself as I filled a glass of water and swallowed my allergy pills.
Then I sat down on the toilet. Immediately the hinge snapped, the seat went flying and I landed on the floor, right on my butt.
Which, I have to tell you, really fucking harshed my mellow. So much for hypnosis!