After I came home from Rite-Aid, consumed some Sudafed, soda and chocolate, I called Microsoft technical assistance. Why? Because when I turned my keyboard upside down and whacked it to get all the crumbs out of it, I immediately started getting messages that my copy of Windows was counterfeit.
I emailed the C&L tech guy. He said the hardware has parts in it that work to validate Windows, and I probably knocked something loose. He told me to call Microsoft.
So I did. I talked to Jose, in Microsoft’s Phillipines service center. (You’ll be happy to know it’s a real job, with benefits.) He did everything but ask me to slaughter a chicken and lay the steaming entrails across my keyboard, but nothing worked. (During this 90-minute ordeal, I discovered that my copy of Windows 7 is still in my old computer, the one my former tech guy was trying to fix. He’s refused to answer phone calls or emails for months now, so that’s that.)
Anyway, I think the fifth validation key worked and now the thing is working today. (head slap) Oh, Mercury fucking retrograde! Duh.