Trump’s plan to stop school shootings

Donald Trump thinks real life is reality TV, or an old cowboy movie. To counter the threat of more mass shootings in schools, he wants to issue guns to 20 percent of schoolteachers in America. The movie version of his idea should star Clint Eastwood as an octogenarian teacher:

Young wacko enters schoolroom toting a semi-automatic rifle. A teacher confronts him. The wacko squares off with the teacher while students hide under their desks.

WACKO (Smiling) This school ain’t big enough for the both of us, old man.
TEACHER (Smiling) Feelin’ lucky, punk? You better git while the gittin’s good.

Wacko raises rifle and aims. Teacher whips out concealed handgun and shoots wacko dead before he can kill any students. Skinny student emerges from under desk.

STUDENT (Shouting) You killed him, Mr. Callahan! You shot him with your gun!
TEACHER: (Whispering) I did, Johnny. You run along now and tell the principal the showdown is over. The rest of you boys and girls can go home now. Tomorrow I’ll get back to learnin’ you how to read and write.

Patriotic music swells. Credits roll. Teacher slips gun into concealed holster and puts on cowboy hat.

Setting sun faces teacher as he strolls out of school and into parking lot, casting a long shadow.

2 thoughts on “Trump’s plan to stop school shootings

  1. Hey Trump, the issue on the table is banning military-style assault weapons. No distractions please.

    Trump and the Fascist warmongers want to build a teacher’s army.

    There are 3.2 million teachers in the country.
    Trump and the right wing Brownshirts want to arm 20% of them.
    That’s a 640 thousand person militia, trained, armed and ready for action.

    Does Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos believe that arming teacher’s is a good plan?
    It’s a certainty that her mercenary brother Eric Prince probably does. It may very well have been Prince who sold Trump on this lunatic idea.

    AR-15’s should be banned.

  2. So what happens after the well-armed teacher blows the head off of an unruly kid who reached into their backpack for some school supplies that the teacher mistook for a gun? Or more likely misses the kid and kills or maims a couple more kids sitting behind them?
    The NRA gun safety rules would prohibit anyone from pointing a gun at someone in a classroom full of children, so what, exactly, are they proposing?
    This is even stupider than usual for Fergus, but hardly surprising; the goddamn NRA spent thirty million dollars getting him elected, and some of those dollars may have come from Russia.

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