A sense of dread

~ susie

I gotta tell you, I know what Trump’s going through: an existential sense of dread. Because when you have covid (even the “mild” version), you know things can change at any moment – the symptoms shift constantly. I’ve described it to people as the virus knocking on the door of every single organ and system, looking for a way in. I only had two brief episodes of that “train sitting on my chest” feeling, but a half hour was enough to scare the living shit out of me.

Which is why I tell people to be careful. Which is why I’m still careful.

Because I keep hearing these stories about people who wore masks faithfully, and still got it. I know when I was in the hospital (which is where I assume I caught it), I wore a mask the entire time (except when I was on a C-Pap machine). Maybe it wasn’t sanitized enough; I don’t know.

And as I’ve said, I have recurring symptoms. I feel a lot better in between relapses than I did, but the relapses are scary. (Two weeks ago, my sinuses swelled up and my face hurt really bad.) I still can’t taste anything the way it used to be. Everything tastes metalllic, or bitter. You’d think that would result in massive weight loss, but instead I find myself eating even more, compulsively seeking something that has some kind of enjoyable taste. Oh well.

My throat is still shot, it’s very difficult to sing. It’s also difficult to take a deep enough breath to sustain a note. My tongue is swollen; it feels like it’s splitting open sometimes.

I still remember the beginning, the bone-deep chills that lasted for days. No fever, which is why my doctor didn’t take me seriously. (Thank God for nurse practitioners.) We know know about a third of covid patients don’t get fevers. We also know the tests are unreliable.

So here’s the thing. All these Republican politicians, claiming they tested negative? Doesn’t mean a thing. Yet they’re still going out and about, still not wearing masks.

In conclusion, I don’t care if Trump dies. I’d rather he’d live, so we can kick his ass and then send him to prison, and drive his entire toxic party with him.

Published by susie

One thought on “A sense of dread”

  1. Isn’t it a wonderful thing that the President, his family, every federal employee, and the military can all get the finest medical care that taxpayer money can buy (Medicare For All)?

    Trumps 10 doctors, most of them highly skilled specialists, walked to the microphones and assured us all that their patient was “doing well.”
    Surely there are as many qualified doctors treating the current Mrs. Trump?

    It’s good to be the King, his functionaries, and his Army.

    But what about the rest of us?
    Where is our Medicare For All (Joe)?
    Excluding the elderly, the vast majority of coronavirus infections and deaths have come from poor communities of color.
    Communities where health care takes a backseat paying the rent and eating.
    That’s criminal.

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