Category: My So-Called Life

Desperado

~ susie ~ 3 Comments

http://youtu.be/OEX5m5gT6D0

A few nights ago, I had dinner with our blog host.  I told her I’d lied to her about my life. No surprise.  Living an artificial life and manipulating people all through life has caused me to trash everyone I ever met and loved.  Currently (notwithstanding the advice of two friends that it was a bad idea to have someone move in for financial reasons), my “pay my bills” old boyfriend is leaving. Being economically at his mercy has been an awakening.  I am now 12-stepping my way back, planning a trip back into therapy, and looking forward to getting real — whatever that means.

That night, I dreamed I committed suicide.  I woke up and laughed: “Hah, a rebirth!”

Still, the Eagles song “Desperado” plays on in my head.  Lyrically, it hits the mark.

Dream

~ susie ~ 1 Comment

University City, Philadelphia

It was back before our divorce, and our kids were still little. My then-husband tells me he’s sorry for not keeping his promise (that we wouldn’t stay in the suburbs if I didn’t like it) and that we’re moving back to the city. I was very touched that he apologized.

Pre-snow insanity

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

trying to get home

I really did have to get a few things, so I thought this might be a good morning to go downtown and use my Trader Joe’s gift certificate. Hah! The line waiting out on the street to get into the parking lot was blocking a major intersection. So I decided to go back to my neighborhood ShopRite instead. I drove down Spring Garden Street to get home, and was greeted by GIANT CLOUDS of salt mixed with sand. The salt got into my car vents and made my eyes burn.

At the ShopRite? There was nowhere to park, nowhere at all.
Continue reading “Pre-snow insanity” →

Blerg

~ susie ~ 1 Comment

I am going to dieeeeeee,,hate u flu :((((

Whatever that thing is that’s going around, I have it. Hopefully my flu shot will keep things to a minimum.

UPDATE: I thought I was just middle-aged creaky when I got up, but it’s been a couple of hours now and my rib cage hurts in my back when I breathe. And I do breathe!

UPDATE: I just realized the back pain is from carrying my broken microwave out to the trash last night. Never mind!

Dream

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

Tidal Wave

I’m in some kind of mountain resort, vaguely German — surrounded by forest, lots of outdoor dining, music, food. I run into an old friend and we’re chatting at a picnic table.

Everyone looks up at the same time and sees a giant tidal wave (two, three hundred feet?) looming over us. They’re standing there transfixed, but not me: I start running the hell out of there to get to my hotel room, which is on the eighth floor. I remember thinking I was glad my ankle was functional again.

I make it to my room (either 846 or 856) and other people are starting to stumble in. I wonder if my friend has survived, and whether the place still has electricity. No one’s saying much.

Then I wake up.

What I got for Christmas

~ susie ~ 3 Comments

884-35L (It's out of the box!)

The thing that’s new here at SG headquarters is that we’re adding Apple to the list of home electronics. I got a used iPad from my boss for Christmas (because I really wanted Garageband for writing songs and it only works on Apple products), and I was bugging my oldest son about whether I could download music files from the iPad and get them onto my PC. (Short answer? Mostly, you can’t without jumping through a whole lot of hoops.)

So what did he do? He gave me a used iMac for Christmas.

“It’s got a problem with the graphics card. It could last a month, it could last a year,” he told me. But, he said, it would probably last long enough for me to write some songs and burn them to CDs — which makes me very happy.

So I’ve gone from being an Apple-free zone overnight. A Christmas miracle!

My secret

~ susie ~ 4 Comments

The Presents are Wrapped and Under the Tree (Day 65)

I really was a terrible mother. When my two boys were little and would fight with each other (and if you have boys, you know how bad it can get), I’d pick up the phone and dial. “Hello, Santa? Yes, I’m calling about my sons. Uh huh. Okay, thank you.”

Then I’d tell them, “I just called the Santa Claus toll-free hotline, and when you’re bad, he takes one of your toys and puts it in your brother’s pile.”

Worked like a charm.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

~ susie ~ 2 Comments

Fire Alarm

Did you know if you boil sugar and water together to candy-coat pecans, but you boil it past the point where you’re supposed to, it all turns into a vile black mess, fills up your home with smoke and all the hard-wired smoke alarms go off?

Neither did I!

And do you know how hard it is to shut them off? I think I will have to sleep through this tonight.

Yes, I opened the alarm station and tried to reset it. No dice. Landlord’s out for the night and not picking up the phone. This is very loud and after an hour of this, it’s making me tense.

This is why I try not to cook.

UPDATE: My landlord came over and shut off the breaker panel. It’s off now, thank heaven.