Creepy, controlling and dangerous

I went out with a guy like this once. Right from the beginning, I should have known: He was bragging how, if anyone fucked with him, he could ruin their credit record.

Why I gave him my phone number, I’ll never know. I guess I was just bored, and he was good-looking, tall and was employed.

But I did, and he called before I was home from work, and my son answered the phone. When I came in, my kid said, “Mom, some weirdo called for you.”

He called back a few minutes later. “Oh, that’s the game you’re playing? You tell me you can’t see me tonight because you already have somebody there? That’s the kind of whore you are?”

Believe it or not, this did not endear him to me.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, you creep? Don’t ever call me again.” I hung up on him.

I never told him my last name and he didn’t know where I lived. Thank God.

Also: I was just reading this Breaking Bad review, and wanted to add a variation on this theme:

I thought a lot about the parallels between this storyline and the endless, idiotic discourse about “family values” in our society. “Family values” is a code word for maintaining a patriarchal society where men rule over women and children. Like Walt, those invested in this system justify it by pretending that they just want what’s best for everyone—that it’s about making men take responsibility blah blah blah. But this is the reality: The responsibility for providing for the family is all too often a cover story for a system that is actually geared towards protecting male egos and power. If there’s a conflict between women and children’s actual well-being and maintaining the system of male power, then male power will win. If there’s a conflict between men’s emotional and human needs—like the need for love and companionship that we all have—the men’s needs will be sacrificed. Everyone loses in a system geared towards preserving the power structure.

Look how many times we’ve seen this in action, where an abandoned husband kills his wife and kids because they can’t exist unless it’s within the framework of his existence. (Some women kill their families, but it’s usually because she’s mentally ill.) But this story, we see every holiday season: The man goes back and kills the family for the sin on continuing without him. It’s what happens when society denies male vulnerability and forces everyone into rigid gender roles.

Powerless

I’m sitting in a cafe, antsy as hell because I can’t go home. The power’s out in my immediate neighborhood and I can’t work at home. This makes me cranky.

Dream

I was at some kind of political event and there were two planes flying in circles around the building. Both of them crashed into the building and people were hurt, but no one really seemed to be very upset except me.

You can lead a horse to water

eviction-pic1

You remember my neighbor, the one who was being evicted? The one to whom you all so generously donated enough money to keep her from being kicked out?

She got kicked out this morning.

I told her not to give the money to her landlord. I told her to use it to find a room for rent — that as long as she didn’t have a job, she was only pissing it away by giving it to the landlord. But she did. (It was very frustrating for me. But then, people who weren’t born that way don’t really know how to be poor.) She thought if she gave them something, they would appreciate that she was trying and let her stay. Obviously, it didn’t work.

“I just wanted to know if I could put a few bags in your hallway while I wait for my sister to pick me up,” she said, standing there in the rain with her little dog. Of course, I said.

So she loaded several huge bags into my hall, and sat there with her dog. After two hours, her sister still hadn’t shown up, and she’d stopped answering the phone. “Get your stuff in the car, I’m taking you,” I said.

We loaded up all her stuff and drove across the bridge to Jersey. As soon as we pulled up in front of the house, her sister closed the front door and was peeking out from behind her kitchen curtains. “She’s there,” I said loudly. “I see her looking out from behind the curtain. Maybe she forgot that you took care of your dying mother for five years while she lived her life.”

She disappeared into the house with two bags, and came out to get more.

“She’s really mad at me for being here,” she said. “She said she had people working to find a solution, why didn’t I just wait?”

Yeah, in the rain. With her dog.

She told me about someone she knows who threw herself in front of a train. (She lived. She’s in rehab.) “What if my sister kicks me out?”

“Don’t let her,” I said. “You’re family. You Italians love to talk about family, well, this is what it’s all about. And don’t let her make you feel bad. No one at our age would willingly put themselves in the position of living with a sibling.” (I know I wouldn’t.)

And I drove away.

She’s a college grad with a background in the food business, including a certification in wine and cheese pairings. She had two interviews at Whole Foods, but they hired someone with a masters in nutrition. For $9 an hour.

And people wonder why I’m so pissed at Obama? Because he hasn’t done anything for people like this. Worse than that, he never even raised his voice on their behalf.

Medical update

Saw my doctor this morning (who bitched constantly because under their new computerized system, she has to re-enter my entire medical history herself into the software program– the business manager doesn’t want the office staff to do it) and she told me that although she would order the tests, she thought it was unlikely that I had diabetes.

“You’ve been getting blood work pretty regularly for the past five years, and we haven’t seen anything abnormal,” she said. “And neuropathy is not usually seen in the diagnostic stages.”

So what is the numbness and tingling from? She concurred with the physiatrist that it might have to do with the herniated disks in my neck, and now I’m supposed to get an MRI of my neck.

I keep saying how hard blogging is on the body, and the only people who agree with me are … other bloggers.

It’s a miracle

elbow

For the past several years, due to tennis elbow (more like cut and paste elbow), I couldn’t straighten my left arm. It wasn’t very painful, it just wouldn’t straighten out no matter what I did (massage, acupuncture, stretching) and it bothered me — I felt deformed!

Well, last week, I walked into something (I forget what) and really slammed my arm, right where the big lump was. I felt a “pop”, and it was gone! And now I can straighten my arm!

I showed it to my physiatrist yesterday.

“Why aren’t you ever normal?” he said, and laughed.