Spaz under pressure

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This is not my phone, because I can’t take pictures now. It just looks like this.

Some people exhibit grace under pressure. I’m not one of those people.

When I am suddenly stressed or startled, it sets off a chain reaction of physical events that are never pretty.

Like this morning, when I had an 8 o’clock doctor’s appointment downtown. I skipped caffeine yesterday so I could sleep, woke up in plenty of time to get ready, and left at an appropriate time. I even got there 15 minutes early, and found a parking spot right near his office.

I got out of the car to get a ticket from the parking kiosk, which you have to put on your street-side dashboard. I started fumbling in the bottom of my purse for my keys, but couldn’t find them. And that’s when I saw them through the car window, dangling from the ignition. Oh shit.

I started to mentally run through my options. Call AAA? Yeah, but I’d let my membership lapse, so that’s $79 in addition to whatever they charge to open the car — not to mention hours waiting in the cold.

Then I remembered — hallelujah! — I had a spare key in my wallet. (Because my late father made me promise to always carry one.) I pulled it out, opened the door…. and that’s when I dropped my phone. Fuck. The front screen shattered into several hundred bits. And it’s not just the screen, the phone doesn’t work.

It’s Christmas. I’m already broke. If you want to do something nice for me, make a donation.

I could really use it.

A giant corporation indicted? Wow

Freedom Industries Site Demolished

We don’t see this happen too often, we should pay attention:

CHARLESTON, WV –Four owners and managers of Freedom Industries have been indicted and charged with federal violations of the Clean Water Act for failing to operate the company in an environmentally sound manner, resulting in the chemical leak that contaminated the drinking water of 300,000 people in January.

Dennis P. Farrell, William E. Tis, Charles E. Herzing and Gary L. Southern are each charged with three counts of violating the Clean Water Act.

Each man is charged with failing to meet a “reasonable standard of care” in running the company.

“Their negligence resulted in and caused the discharge of a pollutant, that is, MCHM, from point sources into the Elk River,” according to the indictment, unsealed today by U.S. Magistrate Judge Dwane L. Tinsley.

‘Abundance with attachment’ is right-wing doubletalk

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Swamp Rabbit and I huddled next to the wood stove and pored over a cheery Christmas article by economist Arthur C. Brooks, who wants people to make an attitude adjustment regarding possessions. He urges readers to “collect experiences, not things,” and to “steer clear of excessive usefulness” meaning don’t make it a rule to do only those those that are a means to some practical end. And to “get to the center of the wheel” — to belief in something that transcends wealth and fame and other temporal joys.

“Who’s this here article for?” the rabbit said. “I ain’t got nothin’ in the world but a head of lettuce and that bottle of Wild Turkey you give me for collectin’ this here firewood.”

“He wrote it for the one percenters who feel guilty about their piggishness and want to be absolved,” I said. “He takes it for granted that all of his readers are wealthy, or close to it.”

I pointed to the one instance in the New York Times article where Brooks mentions Americans who don’t fit his target demographic: “For those living paycheck to paycheck, a focus on money is understandable. But for those of us blessed to be above poverty, attachment to money is a means-ends confusion.”

“I don’t know anybody ain’t livin’ paycheck to paycheck, or without no paychecks at all,” the rabbit said. “What planet is this guy on?”

“It’s not so much a planet as an alternate universe,” I said. “The other 99 percent of us don’t exist in his universe, unless there’s a need for babysitters or someone to clean the windows.”

I told the rabbit that Brooks is president of the American Enterprise Institute, a right-wing think tank whose boosters include Newt Gingrich, Paul Wolfowitz and Dick Cheney. This helps explain why he writes things like “Celebrate the bounty that has pulled millions out of poverty worldwide” instead of mentioning that income inequality in the U.S. has been increasing since the 1970s. It’s why he focuses on the angst of the affluent rather than on the millions in the world who can’t make ends meet, despite their so-called bounty.

His message is that the well-off should embrace their possessions without becoming “attached” to them, because all things must pass. It’s a contemporary version of Billy Graham-style Protestantism, with the same underlying message: Enjoy your wealth but praise the Lord. Throw a bone to the poor to confirm you are unselfish and worthy of heaven. Fight big government efforts to feed the poor, that’s socialism.

“He’s part right,” the rabbit said. “You can’t take it with you. Ain’t it obvious?”

“What’s not obvious is his agenda,” I said. “He pretends to be turned off by the commercialization of Christmas but he’s a crusader for the free-market capitalism that has made Christmas so ugly. He pretends he has transcended materialism in order to advance it. ‘Abundance without attachment’ is a bullshit expression, a contradiction in terms. I’d like to punch him in the face. His editor, too.”

“Get a grip, Odd Man,” the rabbit said, reaching for his bottle. “A couple of hits of this will take the edge off.’

I could smell the bourbon as soon as he broke the seal. “I might take you up on that,” I said. “But I’m afraid I might become too attached to the stuff.”