Dear Prudence

Halloween with Peninsula Hotel

I have some neighbors like this. There are a couple of churches who bus kids into our neighborhood BECAUSE THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD ISN’T SAFE. They can’t even play outside, let alone trick or treat. So I love Prudie’s response:

Dear Prudence,
I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

Dear 99,
In the urban neighborhood where I used to live, families who were not from the immediate area would come in fairly large groups to trick-or-treat on our streets, which were safe, well-lit, and full of people overstocked with candy. It was delightful to see the little mermaids, spider-men, ghosts, and the occasional axe murderer excitedly run up and down our front steps, having the time of their lives. So we’d spend an extra $20 to make sure we had enough candy for kids who weren’t as fortunate as ours. There you are, 99, on the impoverished side of Greenwich or Beverly Hills, with the other struggling lawyers, doctors, and business owners. Your whine makes me kind of wish that people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks. Stop being callous and miserly and go to Costco, you cheapskate, and get enough candy to fill the bags of the kids who come one day a year to marvel at how the 1 percent live.

—Prudie

4 thoughts on “Dear Prudence

  1. Which reminds me since Halloween is just around the corner, I would like to talk about gimmicks by our politicians to supposedly make our children safer during trick or treat.

    Some cities think that curfewing former sex offenders to their homes with the lights out on the front lawn somehow protects little children. This law actually endangers law enforcement personnel who are saddled with the duty of enforcing this dubious law, as the following two scenarios will indicate.

    Suppose a compliant sex offender hears sounds on his or her pitch-dark front lawn and mistakes a police officer there for a burglar/prowler and opens fire with a weapon only to discover that he or she unwittingly killed a police officer on the front lawn. The sex offender then panicks, thinking that no jury will take his or her word over other police who think the killing was deliberate. That former sex offender might attempt to flee with the determination that no cop will take him or her alive.

    In the second scenario, we have a former sex offender who has become so fed up with these restrictive laws that he or she decides to booby-trap his or her house with the intention of deliberately injuring or killing any parole or police officer who enters his or her premises without a warrent to be sure the former sex offender is in compliance with the law.

    Finally, children and their parents have to worry more about reckless drivers on Halloween Night than they do with suspicious strangers offering them candy.

  2. 99% of the 1% sucks. Having said that and keeping with the scary theme offered by Mr. delzell, let’s talk about Blackwater which became XL and is now called Academi. Four members of this organization, headed by Erik Prince, were found guilty of murder, manslaughter and firearms charges in the 2007 deaths of 17 Iraqis the other day. The scary part of this is that the US government gave Academi $8.8 million dollars in contract work this year. Erik Prince, who now lives in the UAE, has become a very wealthy man by murdering people in the Middle East and Africa at the request of our government. That is horrifying.

  3. I thought “Trick or Treat” was all about extortion and threats by the poor ragamuffins against their betters. The stingy woman will give anyhow just because she is afraid of what the little nasties will do, and this is as it should be.

  4. Pragmatic – LOL

    I live in a lower middle-calss nabe hit really hard by the housing bust. We used to have kids come by but now I’m lucky if three groups show up. The kids here all go to the better neighborhoods.

    I really miss them.

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